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Business is business

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 06:00

Today, my best friend and I were taking bikini selfies in my backyard hot tub when I caught my little brother peeping and taking photos from around a corner behind us. Now I know how he can afford his vapes, despite not having a job and being in middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 271

What a ride

By Play It All Night Long by Warren Zevon - 18/05/2025 16:00 - United States - New York

Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 242

Rules is rules

By 737 - 21/05/2025 09:00 - China

Today, our teacher forgot to collect our phones when we arrived at school. We almost managed to take our phones back to the dormitory but someone's phone rang TWICE in the corridor and she remembered the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 384

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 23/11/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, my hubby thought he made me queef during sex. I was too embarrassed ro tell him it was a fart I was holding in, but couldn’t once I orgsmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 182

Bitch better have my money

By Anonymous - 30/05/2025 08:00

Today, a customer has been tanking my business online, claiming I’m a fraud and stole her money. She ordered a painted copy of one of her wedding photos and was mad she couldn’t pick it up that same afternoon. Do you have any idea how long portraits take to paint? Longer than two hours I can tell you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 57

Happily married

By Anonymous - 06/08/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, I read an FML about a garter toss. It made me remember my own garter toss. None of the guys at the wedding wanted to catch it, and visibly cringed at the idea of touching it. Ten years later, it's all been downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 212

Status unclear

By Anonymous - 05/06/2025 20:00 - Belgium - Frameries

Today, my fiancée asked for a threesome. I don't want it. I think I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 96

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 487

Snow day

By Yudith - 05/12/2023 03:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I returned from wading in a foot of snow to go to a hearing and back, and opened my emails. My boss had sent me an email on Friday at 4:30 telling me I didn't have to go in. On Friday, there was the company Christmas party. He was there. So was I. He told me nothing. Nor did he call me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 172

Well hung

By Anonymous - 09/06/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I tried to hang a new shelf in my apartment. I measured, drilled, and installed it perfectly level, only to realize a few minutes later I'd drilled into the side of a pipe. Water started shooting out like a geyser and almost flooded my bathroom. My shelf looks great, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 503

Earplugs, stat!

By Anonymous - 14/06/2021 06:00

Today, my grandpa forgot that my aunt set up a baby monitor in his bedroom in case of a fall. I’m sitting in the living room with his wife - who is deaf - and I hear him moaning over the baby monitor. My grandfather was jerking off and forgot that someone could hear him. I wish I could forget too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 702

You deserved it 147

Major FOMO

By dan - 14/12/2023 13:00 - United States

Today, I learned my most recent ex-girlfriend is dating my previous ex-girlfriend who also broke my heart back then. I also learned that they both sometimes have threesomes with a man. I wanted to experiment by adding another woman when I was with each of them, but they always said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 517

Young love

By Anonymous - 21/12/2023 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son is actually going on holiday over Christmas with some girl he met in a bar. He’s barely known her a week and is already dipping into his savings to keep her happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 162

You OK in there?

By Anonymous - 22/06/2025 00:00 - Ireland

Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 198

Justifiable anger

By Well shit - 27/12/2023 02:00 - United States

Today, I completed a jigsaw puzzle. Almost. You see, there's a problem: One of the pieces is an exact duplicate of another, and the actual missing piece is… gone. So there's one empty space and one piece that doesn't fit. Words cannot describe how irrationally angry this makes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 147

Experimental cuisine

By Anonymous - 28/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I packed my lunch meticulously: salad, sandwich, fruit. Then I put the entire thing in my backpack, on top of what turned out to be a leaky water bottle. By lunch, I was faced with eating a soggy mess of lettuce soup and bread mush. It was not great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 113

Insensitive

By WTF?! - 04/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I was the designated emotional support person for my friend's mom as she went to have her sick cat put down. The cat was aggressive towards the male vet. She said, "She doesn't like men" to which the vet replied, "Well, soon that won't be a problem." The willpower it took both of us to not yell at him, or worse… FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 282

Cut short

By Anonymous - 12/07/2025 21:00 - Ireland

Today, after working two jobs and saving constantly this year all for a month-long solo vacation traveling to 7 countries, I arrived in first one. Within three hours I fell and broke my foot, forcing me to come home in fear of needing surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 102

Work it out

By Stevey - 17/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I went to my gym and tried a new workout machine that had just been installed. I set the weight too high and ended up stuck halfway through a lift, making weird struggling noises. Most people around me stopped and stared as I awkwardly dropped the weights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 365

Weird kink but OK

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was alone at my dad's house. I was furiously masturbating when I knocked something over. It was my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 623

Truth bombs

By Anonymous - 26/07/2025 06:00 - Trinidad and Tobago - Arima

Today, my mother-in-law came home drunk and said to my husband, "I told you not to bring a dumb girl home." I'm a kindergarten teacher with my own private school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 81

Is everything OK?

By Hellie - 30/07/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I woke up to strange texts from friends asking if I was OK, and asking what happened last night. Apparently, I texted my close friends contact list a rambling love letter to pizza before going to bed. I'm never taking Ambien BEFORE getting into bed again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 181

Childhood trauma

By Anonymous - 27/09/2022 13:00

Today, before watching the new Pinocchio, we decided to watch the cartoon one from the 1940’s. Turns out, when I was a kid, the scene where the evil Coachman’s face turns demonic traumatised me. I’d forgotten until I saw the face again. I’m 56 years-old but I froze up and peed myself in my armchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 298

Leg day

By NervousDog - 06/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, at work, I dropped a dried giant millipede specimen. Horrible little legs went everywhere. Now I need to glue it back together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 118

Classic case of the Mondays

By testuser - 18/08/2025 18:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I spilled coffee on myself and now my brand new shirt is ruined, and I have to go to an important meeting immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 248

Not again…

By Anonymous - 18/10/2022 06:00

Today, I had a dissociative episode that lasted over an hour. The trigger was the Netflix show Hilda. Other triggers were the games Tekken and Diddy Kong Racing. It just seems random at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 221

Moral panic of the day

By I don't even like Roblox - 22/08/2025 09:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I came home to my frantic mom boxing up all the family electronics. She'd heard about the Roblox lawsuit and is now convinced that every inch of the internet is crawling with pedophiles. Now my two little brothers are throwing earsplitting tantrums and I have no way to drown them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 83

High pressure environment

By Anonymous - 21/10/2022 01:00 - United States - Gig Harbor

Today, it's been two weeks since my wife started her new job. She got overwhelmed and fell off the wagon on Monday. Instead of going to work, she spent the last week passed out drunk, and she'll probably get fired. We really needed that 100k a year she was going to make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 152

Human interface

By Anonymous - 24/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, at a supermarket self-checkout, I loudly complained to the machine, “Why won’t you scan, you useless idiot?” An employee walked up behind me and said, “You need to press ‘Start.’” FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 534

Fake it til you make it

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I learned that I don’t need to fake my orgasms, even though I’ve never been given one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 223

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The Top

Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 003

You deserved it 6 387

Today I got sunburned on my cheeks. This wouldn't be too bad if they were the ones on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 239

You deserved it 4 286

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 318

You deserved it 5 678

Today, the girl I've been dating asked me to describe her body. I said "Thin an toned but curvy in all the right places." I then asked her the same question to which she replied, "I don't know, you know I'm always drunk when we're together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 487

You deserved it 4 629

Today, I have fibromyalgia and ADHD. I either have no energy, no focus, or no energy for anything, or I burn out trying to do everything. Meanwhile, my mother is adamant that I can be "cured" if I stop eating sugar. I'm allergic to most sweeteners and she won't believe me, and thinks she knows better than my doc. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 123

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 664

You deserved it 5 636