The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Uh-SLEEP · 25 February 2025, 12:00 ·New York, United States

We're going to need more in the comments, please

Today, my obsession with Polish women tried to "graduate" and become my religion. The obsession I had caught from hearing other dudes' ethnic fetishes online was about to become the start of a New Religious Movement. Now I'm stuck with the realization that I have an incredibly cringey brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 You deserved it 645

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kylie · 2 April 2021, 17:01

Unimpressed

Today, my doctor told me that I have severely and permanently injured my shoulder. Last week, I attempted to lift more weight than I normally do in an effort to impress my boyfriend. He was not impressed. In fact he said that most kids can lift more than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415 You deserved it 990

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Arya Keshri · 18 September 2023, 08:00

How could you?

Today, it's been 3 months since I agreed to my mom's suggestion that we send my dog for training. I just found out that she never sent him for training, but sold him to someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020 You deserved it 115

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No money, honey! · 5 March 2025, 09:00 ·Makati City, Philippines

Caring is sharing

Today, I got a call from the lawyer of my recently deceased neighbor, whom I once cared for. He apparently left me and his second daughter, whom he knows I had a huge crush on when we were kids, a vast amount, but we will only get it after we get married. He had severe dementia, and she's already been married for 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539 You deserved it 66

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Anonymous · 12 March 2025, 00:00 ·Fox River Grove, United States

How very dare you?

Today, I had the abortion my husband and I agreed on, after multiple forms of birth control failed. His family somehow found out, and now they're all mad at us for not telling them I was ever pregnant, with a child we never wanted, and took precautions to avoid creating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597 You deserved it 212

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Anonymous · 14 April 2021, 08:00

Working for the weekend

Today, I started my first 3-day weekend in over a month after asking for one. I also start the neverending diarrhea and vomit spiral because my stomach can’t handle a little spice. So much for a relaxing 3-day weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868 You deserved it 178

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Anonymous · 12 June 2022, 00:00

Welcome to the neighborhood

Today, the crazy bitch next door called the cops for me spying on her from my bathroom window. That window was painted shut by the previous owner, and I haven’t unsealed it yet. I had to show this to the cops to prove I have no illegal motive for pissing in my own toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202 You deserved it 79

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Bad boy · 28 March 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Thanks for the help!

Today, I spent all morning cleaning my house. I was feeling pretty proud of myself until I went to the bathroom, then came back to find my dog had knocked over a trash can and scattered the contents everywhere. She even knocked my favorite mug off the counter. The worst/cutest part? She looked at me as if to say, “I'm helping!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 357 You deserved it 105

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Anonymous · 7 October 2023, 20:00 ·Germany

HAZARDOUS WASTE!

Today, my mom tried to keep her boyfriend from indiscriminately devouring my personal things in the fridge. So, instead of just sticking a note with my name on them, the lids of my jars of homemade pesto are now decorated in sharpie with a motif of “NO! DO NOT EAT!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 558 You deserved it 136

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Rizuki_Tsurai · 2 April 2025, 00:00 ·Addition Hills, Philippines

Out of the frying pan into another frying pan

Today, after I got fired from my job last year because I couldn't handle the pressure of being under a PIP by a company who wants to underhandedly cut off employees, I got a new job. My new boss keeps hounding me about my performance and I feel like she doesn't like me. I live alone, have no savings and I can't afford being fired again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388 You deserved it 125

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Anonymous · 10 July 2022, 06:00

Gassy

Today, we had cabbage. A lot of cabbage. The farts are so horrid I can barely stand myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673 You deserved it 283

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Anonymous · 13 October 2023, 06:30

False alarm

Today, my uncle called me at work, telling me to rush him to the doctor's. I get home and he doesn't"t want to go anywhere. He says he has the chills, so I turn on the furnace. Next he says he's too hot, and stripped to his underwear. I ask him to let me take him to doctor. He does nothing. Work is expecting me to bring a doctor's note tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681 You deserved it 132

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Anonymous · 11 April 2025, 03:00

Well played, Deborah

Today, my bitch ex has successfully trained our daughter to refer to her second husband as “Dad” and me as Mister, or Sir, or even by my first name a few times. This has to be abuse of some kind, mental anguish, cruel and unusual bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 96

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Anonymous · 20 October 2023, 04:30 ·New Taipei, Taiwan

Shy boy

Today, I was rejected from a restaurant that I wanted to work in during summer break. I asked the reason why I got rejected and the manager told me that I'm not extroverted enough to communicate with customers. I'd applied for the kitchen job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647 You deserved it 110

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Anonymous · 2 July 2022, 06:00

Irony stress

Today, someone stole my Amazon delivery of stress balls from my apartment’s mail room. Now I’m more stressed than before about my stuff getting stolen, and have no stress ball to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825 You deserved it 131

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Rossi · 17 April 2025, 20:00 ·United States

I'll get my coat

Today, the guy I like shared a repost on his Instagram story that said, “No message is a message. Take the hint and move on.” He’d left my last message to him on “Seen” for 4 days now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185 You deserved it 371

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Anonymous · 20 April 2025, 00:00 ·Fredericksburg, United States

The body keeps the score

Today, the girl I used to be in love with texted me again after 5 months. She wanted to say that she remembers my birthday, which is next month. I hate that my heart still speeds up at the mention of her name, and I know it won't ever stop. She was my first crush since I came out, and my first heartbreak. I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394 You deserved it 145

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Anonymous · 22 April 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Happy birthday to you

Today, it's my 15th birthday. My dad stumbled into my bedroom at six in the morning, completely drunk, and slurred the "Happy Birthday" song. Then he told me to go fuck myself, and said that he wished I was never born. Me too, dad. Me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647 You deserved it 65

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I Heart My Cats and Dogs · 16 September 2019, 22:01

Pet Store Madness

Today, I was filling out an application for a job at a local pet store. At the end of it, they wanted a paragraph about any pets I had. After a while, I found myself finishing a 3-page essay about them. That's the longest essay I've ever written. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297 You deserved it 539

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now what? · 9 May 2021, 23:59

Dancing Queen

Today, after my dad told me to sign my daughter up for expensive dance lessons as a birthday present, and she was ecstatic and very dedicated, I asked him for the payment for this month. He replied, "Oh, she wanted more than one lesson?" Now she won’t stop crying and I have no way to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365 You deserved it 152

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gaah! · 9 July 2022, 00:00

Unhappy birthday

Today, it's my birthday. My spouse got into a fight, ending a relationship with a friend. They're laying around, unable to move due to panic attacks. I'm exhausted from being dragged unwillingly into things. The birthday messages feel like a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794 You deserved it 154

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Anonymous · 31 October 2023, 06:00 ·Brisbane, Australia

Shit for brains

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199 You deserved it 700

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TheEpicWario · 1 June 2021, 14:02

Sworn to secrecy

Today, my mom confirmed my suspicions that my dad cheated on her. She then told me to hide my knowledge about it from my dad, and to keep my brother completely in the dark for now. Now I can't even look at my dad without reaching the brink of crying, and I'm somehow supposed to keep this under wraps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467 You deserved it 176

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Anonymous · 8 May 2025, 12:00 ·Changsha, China

A tad jealous

Today, after my ex dumped me on November 18, 2024, after 11 years of friendship and just 6 months dating, spreading rumors and ruining my reputation, we’re now in the same class again. The worst part? She’s already chasing another motherfucker who looks like her old crush, right in front of me. Disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401 You deserved it 233

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Anonymous · 8 August 2022, 10:00 ·Garson, Canada

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He said it was because he wanted to 'do his own thing'. So gaming 24/7 like he has for the past two years of our relationship, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820 You deserved it 223

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Anonymous · 21 May 2025, 15:00 ·United States

The old switcheroo

Today, I’ve had to get the police involved since I’ve been harassed, stalked, berated, and threatened by the wife of the man I was seeing. It doesn’t matter that I have hundreds of texts, DMs, and his dating profile that says he’s a SINGLE dad whose wife died tragically. She’s still coming after me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627 You deserved it 138

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Anonymous · 29 May 2021, 22:01

Ranting and raving

Today, my mom sent me a text message, asking me why I blocked her on Facebook. I didn't. She blocked me, after drinking a bottle of wine. After having a conversation telling me that I need to go to AA and detox. I didn't have anything to drink, and have been limiting alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920 You deserved it 110

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Anonymous · 24 November 2023, 16:00 ·Mishrif, Kuwait

Spill the shade, throw some tea

Today, it's been months since my spouse has talked to me. I'm currently in a timezone that's almost double digits difference. Not even a "Have a good day!" Big ass fuck you I guess. Yet they're always on, then gets off shortly after I'm on Facebook Messenger. Makes sense, right? Shady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450 You deserved it 147

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ToxicFriends · 26 May 2025, 20:00 ·Germany

Mean girls

Today, a mama from my daughter's class has been talking nicely with me, and we've been friends for the past year, going to the playground and library together regularly. Now, all of a sudden, she has stopped talking or going out with us for no reason. I don't know if my daughter and I are both back in school now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381 You deserved it 88

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Anonymous · 28 November 2023, 16:00 ·Okemos, United States 🌶️ Spicy

What was I thinking?

Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112 You deserved it 836

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