Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at work at a new job, my brother comes and takes my car. Along with all my money, my phone, and whatever else I had in my purse. His message to me through one of my co-workers was "walk home." FML
Today, I was told I have a brother… By a stranger in a parking lot, while leaving my grandfather's wake. FML
Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML
Today, I was driving my motorcycle, and I noticed someone was in the ditch, so I went to go help them. When the ambulance showed up, they ran over my bike, totaling it. FML
Today, my older brother called me in the middle of the night to describe to me, in painstaking elaborate detail, the Yamaha commercial he'd just watched. FML
Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML
Today, I pulled my motorcycle into a wheelie when my crush drove by. She was the one who drove me to the hospital when I went over backward. FML
Today, after I just finished a 16-hour double shift, my brother asked me to ride with him to do an Instacart. While delivering these people’s groceries, his car overheated and oil light came on. He had no money, so I had to fix and pay for the parts. FML
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Top comments
alexh15 13
I see some family friction in the near future...
CaliGali 9
Hope he's ok OP things can be replaced but brothers can't.
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Comments (127)
nesscafe_fml 17
Just his luck... !
chouter21 10
Hahaha now I'm the second comment!!!! >.
Llama_Face89 34
17- the 17th, rather.
redbluegreen 41
No matter what comment you appear to be, #17 you will still be an idiot.
DCFan 9
You DID* own a motorcycle. That sucks op... Insurance? Hopefully.
nadyy14 8
Maybe if you have insurance and if he's not hurt, everything will be fine! :D
periwinkle95 10
Be happy your brother isn't dead. You can always buy another motorcycle, but you can never buy another brother.
alexh15 13
I see some family friction in the near future...
gamercanadian 11
Look at it this way what are the odds of u getting that phone call n finding out if he's alright or not?
tsquaredyosur 3
So is your brother okay? You seem more worried about the bike than your family! To me that is a bit f*cked up!!
R3TROxLOV3 32
Well his brother did steal and damage his property so..... I mean yea I hope the brother is okay, but he really shouldn't have taken the bike without permission...
DooleyFTW 17
Don't worry 42 I'm sure if his brother was actually hurt he'd be in the hospital or something not making fml's. Obviously he's ok, the bikes not though!
loopsy_fml 14
42 & 52, op doesn't state their gender. Don't automatically assume op is male just because op owned a motorcycle. Females could just as possibly own a motorcycle!!!!
AnagenisisZagus 13
^Shhhh....The children are sleeping...
KeyboardWarrior 10
71 Don't make a big deal out of something that isn't, please. Thanks.
tjv3 10
Correction you used to own a motorcycle . But on the bright side you are the proud owner of a junk sculpture
imp4ct 15
Although he seems to be an asshole, I hope that nobody was hurt..
Ray_of_midnight 23
Wow, I hope he's OK. Although I'd be pissed.
CaliGali 9
Hope he's ok OP things can be replaced but brothers can't.
Jewlz1162 5
I agree i dont get along with my little brother but if that was him i wouldnt care about the motorcycle
Honestly_Lainey 21
Oh no! The poor motorcycle!! :'(
TheDrifter 24
Sure they can. It's just a bit of a wait, and an argument with your mother.
jerseyboy732 16
tase his ass when you get home
alexh15 13
I have always wanted to do that. But just before you do, scream, "PIIIIKA CHUUUUU!" :P
tygerarmy 35
I'd rather be emperor Palpatine; force lightning!
akayc32 0
I'm pretty sure that's illegal. Like assault.
M0rt 0
I'm pretty sure taking the motorcycle is illegal. Like theft.
iKendall 3
K
poprocksss73 7
Wow I thought this said "taste" his ass when you get home..
akayc32 0
39, doesn't mean you can assault him.
joeytheman 10
Alexh15, I got expelled my freshman year for having a taser on campus, I actually did that to someone. It was fun in the moment, but a horrible mistake that I regret.
dhardesty23 8
that's unfortunate but you gotta do what you gotta do. that sucks
Dramori 29
As a fellow bike rider, the first thing I would say is, I hope the bike's okay...! I hope your bro is fine but still, he deserves it for stealing it in the first place.
DRoCC69 9
You hope the bike is ok? What about your brother that fell off the bike what a ******* moron you are.. My brother takes out my bike alot and if he dumped my bike, the bike would be the last thing i worry about.
HannahWho 8
Obviously the brother is ok, if they were critically injured I doubt Op would have posted this.
GoW_Chick 15
I say tazer his ass when you get on scene, won't really solve the problem, but it'll make you feel better. Edit: damn you 6 for being just a little quicker at the draw.
boredfishing 0
What ever happened to mace?
Lizzy500 16
Dispatchers don't carry mace or tasers, and they don't "arrive on the scene". Jeez, can't anybody READ anymore?
TheDrifter 24
It's a family emergency, most departments would let op go check on him.
Argenisjose 9
In this case he will arrive at the scene after his shift is over because it was near his house.
K_kanaka 26
Dude sorry OP. Hope your brother is ok. Hopefully this knocked some sense into him.