Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML
Today, after just returning to work from recovering from an e-scooter crash, a man raced through a red light on his e-scooter while I was crossing the road, and nearly collided with me. If I hadn’t frozen in place, he absolutely would have. FML
Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML
Today, I was riding an electric scooter on my way to work when a car sped out of a driveway and hit me. Not only did I end up in hospital, but I missed my job on the second day back. FML
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML
Today, I blacked out while riding my electric scooter. Luckily, I was quickly jolted awake when my chin hit the tarmac. FML
Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my Dad, and he decided to kick me in the butt while I was walking. When I went to kick him back, I hit my own leg out from beneath myself and landed on my face. The most embarrassing thing was that the people who saw all started clapping. FML
Today, I was at work at Walmart, casually walking in the middle of the store, when my foot caught on something, so I went flying forward and yelled, being caught off guard, to the point I had to pretend I was running for 3 seconds, then someone blocked my path so I suddenly had to stop. Everyone was staring at me. FML
Today, I was in Walmart on a motorized cart and got stuck on a clothing rack next to a super hot guy. Panicking, I said "I just had surgery, I'm a new driver." After failing to get myself unstuck he had to pull the clothes rack and I apart. FML
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Top comments
Heeeerroin 5
Honestly thought it said Jizzy...
smdthinks 0
I'd expect nothing less from walmart shoppers.
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Comments (123)
Heeeerroin 5
Honestly thought it said Jizzy...
i_amthe_walrus 0
What a peculiar old man. I want to be just like him when I grow old.
Tommananaze6T9 4
Now that is how u party.
Lanceeden 12
I used to be a happy walmart shopper. And then I took a scooter in the knee.
bmwguy01 8
only at walmart!
reaganomics 6
If he was holding a bagged 40oz it would complete my mental picture
Damn_Hippster 11
Why didn't you get out of the way? How hard is it to hear a scooter approaching you?
osnapitzjp 0
How is a scooter jazzy?
SpruceDread4578 13
79- -_____- really?!
docscientist 10
Cause, baby, it just got back from the jaazz club.
mrmystery96 0
The old man must read questionable content.
Iamnotyourmom 0
Look at OPs name :S
ArchxAngel 9
69 Likes.. Hehehe, Giggity.
smdthinks 0
I'd expect nothing less from walmart shoppers.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
That place is a madhouse.
bballsoccerrocks 7
He must be a bad driver
IcyJack 7
Or had one too many screwdrivers.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Or he wasn't using his hands to drive because he was busy doing jazz hands on his jazzy scooter! Haha.... -_-
yumlicious 4
I've never been in a Walmart. Always hear funny/horror stories from Walmart shoppers. Maybe I should venture in there sometime.
jwade11 12
I would of probably got pissed at first but then after watching him run over other people I'd probably laugh. Once I realized it wasn't just me and he was just running over everyone it would make it funny..
uniongirl02 0
Jizzy Scooter!
brock329 3
Priceless lmao
GrahamAker 3
+100 points chopper gunner 2 kills away.
FatAbbot 5
CodNerd strikes again
urdirtyolduncle 15
Osprey gunner**
THE_A_TEEN 28
Obnoxious MW3 (possibly bf3 fanboy) basher strikes again. -From your local BF3 player.
urdirtyolduncle 15
Damn you BF3 fanboys and you're improving games with better graphics!!!
GrahamAker 3
I just wanted to make someone laugh I dent know you get hated on for nothing. :(
Torva_fml 16
56- it's not funny if it's overused, and half the people don't care.
The_Troller 14
**** BF3 and all of it's fancy graphics and dedicated servers and cool guns. I've got pokemon!
honne_tatemae 9
Oh yeah? Well I've got snake on my Nokia 32 10!
benimin 6
Facepalm*
KristantheGreat 5
Sue him !
rexgar2000 10
yeah lets sue and old man that is trying to have fun before his last days. heartless much?
MikeDa1Da 14
6- you're probably one of the stupid bitches that sues for "mental anguish" after a car accident or some other minor accident.
lemonhead12004 2
Yeah suing someone is always the way to go. You better hope not if you want to be a dentist. Those medical malpractice suits add up quick.
cduran2011 6
Old people on scooters can get away with anything. I saw one at Target grab a girl's butt and say that he "was reaching for an item" in the middle of the aisle. I guess there has to be an advantage of being old.
geon_olam 17
he was reaching for an item just not the kind thats for sale at least not in target
cduran2011 6
Have you been to the outside of Target in NYC? EVERYTHING'S for sale there. haha. Maybe he thought he was in NYC.
noodlepoodle96 0
He's having fun in his little scooter of doom ;D
geon_olam 17
"gunned the scooter" did he modify the engine on that thing or something? cuz those things go like 4 mph
DFlit1 0
He could have reached in the little opening near the motor and held the governor off so it would go like 10mph lol
geon_olam 17
damn ur badass
braceletsandhell 7
I would have gotten on a scooter and chased after him (:
cduran2011 6
Reminds me of the Psych episode where Gus is complaining about the possibility of being run over by the Haunted House car ride that goes 5 mph. =P
chocol8m 6
I love psych!!! Gus