Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get to work and I put on yesterday's jeans. While at my meeting an employee asked me if 'that' was mine and pointed to something on the floor next to me. Which was yesterday's underwear. FML
Today, I returned a friend's jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
Today, I was running late to work so I started getting dressed and brushing my teeth. I got to work 5 minutes late, which is when noticed a toothpaste stain on my shirt. I thought it looked identical to a cum stain, and the worst part was I was wearing black, so it was noticeable. FML
Today, I spilled coffee on my shirt and had to change before a big meeting. The only clean shirt I had was a gift from my brother. I didn’t notice it said "World’s Okayest Employee" on it until I was sat in the meeting. FML
Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML
Today, I work maintenance at a warehouse store. I had to clean the men's stall because someone had pooped on the seat, the floor, and got some on the wall. When I took my break, I noticed that my fellow maintenance coworker had poop on his pants and shoes. I then realized that I just cleaned up his “mess.” FML
Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML
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Top comments
cockymofo 10
lol. he said "jacked off"
Fortuitous 0
You didn't see that one coming.
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Comments (75)
lmfao1643 3
what a shame
Xtaci 0
how is that hot
Firestar1202 0
youre hot
emmi23 0
you should give him a little present back with his shirt tomorrow
emmi23 0
or her
kiraaamaeee 0
atleast your employees know your getting some ;)
justsayfuck 5
If the OP is hetero, a stain on his shirt might not be the message of 'getting some' he want to get across his employees. Edit: I just checked, 'fiance' is apparently only used for males. So this comment does not apply to him.
klutzycleo 5
@ #7, true, the form fiancé is male, and fiancée female, many people just use fiancé for the male or female they are engaged to, regardless. Or maybe that's just me (:
pizzasammy 0
only a guy would be as dumb to use his partners work shirt to clean up after sex. I'm a guy, and I've done it. haha
InDenial 6
OPs partner is a girl.
kay71095 9
47- how do you know this? Just because OP is a guy, doesn't mean his fiancé has to be a girl
cockymofo 10
lol. he said "jacked off"
machiko_fml 0
That's why you always check if the shirt is dirty or clean. (:
IanCosentino 0
I read your bio. It was amazing. 100 suns? :D
Fortuitous 0
You didn't see that one coming.
PushMyButtons 5
hahaha nice one!
govikes28 5
win
Zoeeee1234 0
ahahahha! thatss just greatt,good one!
LaUruguaya 11
er, what was the stain? i'm assuming poo or pee, which is just disgusting if that was in your bed!
cdc12345678910 0
it was cum
SHANNON_fml 0
it was cum you knob. How old are you? like twelve!
redoxy_fml 0
or maybe she's mature?
pizzasammy 0
what are you sweetcheeks, ignorant? a knob is equivalent to what you would probably call a 'dumbass'
Lucidium 0
Who do you think you are, pizza? Stop owning people.
LAXgurlie28 0
A knob is a dick actual. that's what they call it in British Lang.
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
I love when people try to correct others and instead only highlight their own ignorance.
Miguel_32E 0
im 13 and i know what she was talking bout
LaUruguaya 11
also, fiancé can refer to a man or a woman
sandi315 0
true i can see how u got the confusion there
raesolis86 0
fiancé is male. fiancée is female. just an FYI
ilovepandaz 2
no one cares
hidingoutt7 0
how did you not notice that before you put it on ? and what's on his shirt?
boricuabebe 0
skeet
perdix 29
Clean up on Aisle 9! Housekeeping, please take care of the cum stain on Aisle 9.
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
nice. if I worked there, and didn't give a shit about my job, I'd have made that announcement over the loudspeaker.