You have been warned

By AnalProbe - 12/03/2017 18:00

Spicy
Today, my mother warned me that if I ever have anal sex I will die. I'm 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks 5 139
You deserved it 498
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

notafoot 8

100% of people who have anal sex will die, it's true.

58 1
Tripartita 44

It's your biggest design flaw which your mother deeply regrets, but when she was assembling you, she was a huge Star Wars fan and wanted to pay tribute to the Death Star. Now, should anybody penetrate your exhaust port, a huge, empire-destroying explosion will ignite.

38 6

Comments

species4872 19

If you had anal in the middle of the road you might get hit by a bus.

7 3
Tripartita 44

It's your biggest design flaw which your mother deeply regrets, but when she was assembling you, she was a huge Star Wars fan and wanted to pay tribute to the Death Star. Now, should anybody penetrate your exhaust port, a huge, empire-destroying explosion will ignite.

38 6
BurnInDemonFire 34

Does that mean you have the experience to know she's wrong?

8 1
notafoot 8

100% of people who have anal sex will die, it's true.

58 1
Cynical_1 26

You mean the secret to immorality is to abstain from anal sex? Damn...why does no one ever tell me these things?

8 0
RichardPencil 30

You won't die, you just won't shit right for a month [1] [1] from the documentary film "Bad Santa."

5 1
protoskore 27

to which the perfect response would be "My God, I'm a ZOMBIE?????"

8 0
Diana Parr 3

Just tell her it hasn't killed you yet

10 0
Nfwdude 4

Can confirm that you won't die.........straight away.

0 1