Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see clearly for two hours. FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process, I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML
Today, I accidentally stuck my thumb into my eye and scratched myself just under my eyebrow. I don't know why my hand was anywhere near my eye. FML
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Top comments
cat4651 15
I would think your eye would be a little red and noticeably irritated after that- signs that should prove your story true to your boss!
Yazoo77 16
If that's your first time being late, or you almost never show up late, then I don't understand why your boss doesn't believe you... but if you show up late a lot, I can see where is coming from.
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Comments (40)
LoZelda123 20
Really? Why would you make something like that up? Sorry OP
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
At least you didn't pull a muscle.
Rebles 15
I'm starting to think that brushing your teeth is way more dangerous then it is made out to be.
worldclassrager 41
I'm not surprised he didn't believe you it seems a bit far fetched..
iHappyFeet 11
Reminds me of that one spongebob episode where the toothpaste cap hit his eyeball.
corky1992 33
at least you were honest lol
jezka374 15
Excuses are excuses in an employers POV... They've heard it all... Sad but true
Alicimo 11
I can't imagine how painful toothpaste to the eye must be! Sorry OP x
raesos91 26
Aghhh! Feel the burn! Sorry op, I feel your pain D;
XtremeHeat 14
At least you didn't lie and say Jack M. Crazyfish did it.
mustangbravo 27
I had an incident that also sounded like a hard to believe story that made me late too once. My boss told me to plan better because it shouldn't have made a big time difference. I can understand your frustration.