When a coworker tries to help By Lewis - 20/01/2019 00:30 Hold my beer! agreeclassic 288 vote type 1 186 Share Tweet Share
Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail, because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML agreeclassic 34 658 vote type 1 10 773
Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML agreeclassic 41 306 vote type 1 4 148
Today, after days of constipation, I gave myself an enema to clear out the obstruction. My girlfriend has decided that I'm secretly gay and will not change her mind. She's already told her friends, who now want to take me shoe shopping. FML agreeclassic 502 vote type 1 102
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML agreeclassic 533 vote type 1 35
Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML agreeclassic 29 527 vote type 1 10 361
Today, and for the past month, I'm so lonely that I fall asleep holding my teddy bear's paw for comfort. FML agreeclassic 780 vote type 1 131
I think he forgot he was bowling and not playing basketball 🤣