Weekend Plans By FML Videos - 26/10/2018 18:30 Nopenopenopenopenope. I agree, your life sucks 251 You deserved it 69 Share Tweet Share
Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML I agree, your life sucks 527 You deserved it 164
Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 224 You deserved it 6 962
Today, my son proudly announced to me that he has been learning to cut out shapes at school, and that he'd cut out some ovals and wanted to show me. He showed me the pictures of Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson and Jackson and their corresponding bills. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 864 You deserved it 258
Today, I bought a brand new Wii U. My cat must have thought the wires looked tasty because he chewed through each of them, which will now cost me another $100. FML I agree, your life sucks 11 386 You deserved it 1 918
Today, my coworker thought it would be funny to throw my keys up onto the top shelf in storage. I'm 4'10. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 637 You deserved it 4 056
Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. I began to eat when I noticed a blond hair in my food. When that happened, I went up to the counter and began complaining about their hygiene. When the manager insisted no one that works there had long blond hair, I realized that it was my hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 6 573 You deserved it 64 877
Today, it's been half a year that I've been having panic attacks whenever I close my eyes and go to sleep. I wake up everyday feeling guilty for not starting my work ahead of time. All throughout the day, I try to keep on working until night, because whenever I try to sleep, take a break, listen to music, or watch a series, I feel guilty. FML I agree, your life sucks 743 You deserved it 152
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML I agree, your life sucks 58 177 You deserved it 10 145
I have found my spirit animal.
that's a really accurate representation of what is about to happen. Thank you for this!