Today, a coworker and I got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss's infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, discovered that all the viruses I have gotten on my computer at work haven't been from anything I've done, but because my boss has secretly been using it after hours to download or watch porn so he wouldn't risk getting a virus on his own computer. I've lost 3 major projects due to this. FML
Today, our computer system has irretrievably broken down due to viruses. My boss is the one who refused to get new antivirus software, but he’s still blaming me because I’m the computer guy and should be able to protect us from stupidly complicated viruses, "like the hackers in the movies." FML
Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, my boss was using my computer and tried to copy and paste a website URL. It must not have copied first, because it pasted a URL to a porn site. I think I should start looking for a new job. FML
Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML
Today, I got a harsh warning from my boss. I apologized because I was genuinely in the wrong. My girlfriend found out about it and sent my boss a message, threatening to kick her ass. I'm now suspended. Thanks babe. FML
Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
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Top comments
silverkaast 9
labor board
danthehuman 29
That must suck, OP. However, I'm sure you can prove your innocence to your boss. I don't think it's legal to get suspended for something like that.
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Comments (84)
little_one 20
Am I the only annoyed by the initial wording of this FML? It should be "today, my coworker and I got..."
cartedor 18
time to sue and get millions
fivetimeslonger 24
Am I the only one thinking "virtual STD" being that it was an infected memory stick... Hahaha
k_schmidty 7
**a coworker and I
uhohitslisa2 20
I say you find a way to prove that it was from your boss, and fight it. That doesn't seem right at all.
RedMarie 6
My coworker an I**
mrsmeowmix 3
a coworker and I*
sjonnie_fml 10
*me and a co-worker*
Nuclear101 4
Sue him and get him fired.
flij 6
Grammer nazis* A COWORKER AND I NOT I AND A COWORKER