Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML
Today, I knew my girlfriend was having a bad day. I went to bring her frozen yogurt at work because she loves it. When I was in the elevator, I overheard her colleague saying that the reason she was upset was because she had been cheating on her boyfriend with her new intern. FML
Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML
Today, at work, I casually mentioned I was meeting some friends for dinner. My co-worker's response was, "You have friends?!" FML
Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML
Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
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Top comments
Pentium_4 27
oh man....next time you smell fish, you know what to say. BUT, only cause she was mean first ;)
StoryOfTheYear 15
No meat-lovers today?
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Comments (74)
123josie123 11
Lol.. It's not top bad if you know how to "work" it ;)
123josie123 11
*too
zaza_x_fml 5
^ leave him alone, mistakes happen! :P
zaza_x_fml 5
Oh wait, your just correcting yourself...my bad. *walks away in shame*
jbuckets_404 39
#20: I agree; *you're* completely correct....
Jewnut 0
Lol maybe she wasnt talking about you? I guess either situation is a losing game
aawweessoommee 9
My jaw literally dropped when I read this lol.
Branflakes78 13
It's not funny calm down
lovestheice 0
It's funny to some people. Your the one who needs to calm down
youshitme 9
And 'you're' the one who needs to know the difference between 'your' and 'you're' ...
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Ask her if she'd like to make an order or cottage cheese and anchovies pizza pie.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Order *of Curse you iPod... -.-
AngryCanadian 0
That made no sense at all.
MerrikBarbarian 9
You've never been with a woman have you? You'd know exactly why your comment fails if you had
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Do you realize how tired I am when I post these? I know they don't make sense. And what do you care about me personal life?? So I'm saving my virginity, Is that a ******* crime? No
elephantom12 9
If you know it doesn't make sense then why did you post it? Yes, that is a crime. You have the natural obligation to to hump. START HUMPIN :)
Ray_of_midnight 23
Did you mention to your boss that you found an empty Pringle's can behind the counter, like someone *you* know?
Pelreskovich 11
Ouch.. Obviously it's not a big deal to her if she's still with you. I'd just forget about it.
_Vamp_ 9
She was referring to Earl, her sausage delivery man. He was short today.
AussieGuy1981 0
**** the bitch off. You don't need that shit
sparklecherry 4
Lol!!
RedPillSucks 33
He would, but he can't reach, on account of his short sausage.
cheesendouche 1
flick her to the curb. she has no respect for ur manhood, if u dont flick her she will probs flick u soon anyway in favour of something that fits her looseness.
ladyLALAA 29
Slap her with it next time, well, you know ;)