Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot, an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML
Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, I was walking home from the gym. An old man in his car rolled down the window and drove slowly next to me. He pulled out a camera, took a picture of me and said, "It's gonna be a fun night!" and then drove off. FML
Today, I was at a soccer game when some guys walking behind me yelled that I had a nice ass. I then heard someone shout, "Hey, assholes. That's my daughter." He yelled at them for quite a while. He wasn't my dad, just some weird dude. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
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Top comments
bbbbbbitch 2
If I was old I would do that.
MsConfusedd 27
At least it wasn't actually your dad
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Comments (69)
bReLiNg 18
His golden days are long past, I suppose he was feeling a little rowdy. At least you didn't get the wolf whistle.
ViviMage 40
Pepper spray the old geezer!
AshaaFerreira 22
Well that's a little harsh he wasn't the one who slapped her
perdix 31
Just because we're old, doesn't mean we're dead ;) Would you have preferred him to yell, "Dude, you can do better!"?
girlbye23 15
Omg that is hilarious! Sorry OP.
rita0ral 8
Go home dad
olpally 33
My dad would pull over and say that... Lol. I know Quagmire would! Haha.
ZeTripod 10
giggity-giggity-allrighhtt
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Obviously he was playing along
mattlw 25
Yeah your life sucks OP, but the guy was just remembering when he was that young smacking his girl friend's ass. Maybe a little weird but he probably didn't mean anything by it.
little_one 20
Perdix why do you gotta go around yelling at girls way too young for you?
perdix 31
#33, to boost their self-esteem. The world is a cold, cruel place. Yelling filthy, crude things to sexy, young girls is just a ray of sunshine from me. :)
AshaaFerreira 22
If it was coming from perdix I would take it as a compliment ;)
vicky4321 6
Damn it grandpa!