Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML
Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML
Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML
Today, while in line at the supermarket, I told the lady behind me that she had a cute baby. She shot me a disgusted look and straight up accused me of being a pedophile. FML
Today, at a mall, my mom accused me of lying about being gay, just because I said I don't like shopping. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
trippymane 6
YDI. Stand up for yourself. Don't let yourself be bullied.
yoimtrollin 24
Bullied by an ugly lady? Come on bro.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (62)
Binglebeee 16
What the feck is with people's self obsession?
thejettadriver 0
Repeat after me Bugger off you Bloody Wanker Piss off works too
thejettadriver 0
Repeat after me Bugger off you Bloody Wanker Piss off works too
chuckcloninger 12
I think you're the only person who could answer the question "Why in the world did I do that?".
pedinhuh 23
Welcome to Walmart!
iamthunder 4
You must be the guy who got caught by his father crying to the notebook because you sir are not manly
darkgodxvx 4
Why does it feel like FML is a beacon for weak-willed people whining when they are too cowardly to stand up to others. Honestly guys, people are just people, the same as you; no matter what it feels like they aren't aliens. If you don't know what to say, just get aggressive and keep escalating. 9/10 you'll get what you want. The other one time you'll probably get punched out. Stand up for yourself and have a little pride people.
zolziski 11
Because "Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" I stood up for myself and successfully made her feel small for trying to make me feel small." is not much of an FML.
0tterp0p 2
Right after you admitted it you should have snatched her purse away and ran off. That way she would know you didn't give a **** about her.
shinedown00 4
You should have told her off and told her how ugly she really was
dat_creeper 4
YDI for going to Walmart at all...
QueenOrangeSoda 21
Who said it was Walmart?