Health: Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom...

By Madridsta - 28/06/2014 06:28 - United States - Rialto

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 902

You deserved it 7 823

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Same thing different taste

By NoPrivacy - 26/04/2012 10:44 - United States

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 169

You deserved it 34 720

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 763

You deserved it 40 903

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 20:56 - United States

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 835

You deserved it 14 997

By yolo is for shitheads - 09/10/2012 16:07 - United States

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 434

You deserved it 2 164

By shit - 28/04/2016 11:05 - United States - Colonial Heights

Today, I went to the dentist; no one was in the waiting room so I danced around and mouthed songs that were on the radio. It wasn't till after I went to the counter and saw the receptionists laughing like a pack of hyenas that I realized there was a camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 943

You deserved it 8 124

Admission time

By peeoncarl1111 - 29/01/2011 01:06 - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 483

You deserved it 120 555

By navyma - 17/09/2009 05:10 - Korea Republic of

Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 762

You deserved it 4 299

Symphonic

By Anonymous - 30/01/2014 22:46 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 816

You deserved it 4 913

Smell you later

By Anonymous - 17/10/2009 19:48 - United States

Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 775

You deserved it 2 667

Great timing

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 18:01 - Australia

Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 113

Welshite 39

Saturday 28 June 2014 16:11

Well, you /did/ just lose what small amount of wisdom you had.

kAPISH 29

Saturday 28 June 2014 16:12

I don't need to be high for shouting that. Pooping is some serious shit.

Comments

martin8337 35

Saturday 28 June 2014 21:45

Smooth. You're a regular mac daddy, or is it daddy mac.

Sakuraashita 15

Saturday 28 June 2014 22:11

This happens to most people I know who have had this done. Don't feel bad, OP, yours was really mild.

Xivion 19

Saturday 28 June 2014 22:36

MOVE! GET OUTTA THE WAY! I GOTTA POOP I GOTTA POOP I GOTTA POOP I GOTTA POOP!!!

love_me_electric 20

Saturday 28 June 2014 23:19

I could definitely see myself doing this. Thankfully when they pulled mine all I needed was local anesthetic and Advil.

devilkazama 9

Sunday 29 June 2014 0:11

You shouldn't smoke after tooth extraction. The sucking motion might dislodge the blood clots at the extraction sites causing what is known as "dry socket". It's extremely painful and slows down healing.

Coeliacchic93 21

Sunday 29 June 2014 2:47

I don't think they were smoking anything... pain meds can often give people a high.

HockeyPlayerLife 13

Monday 30 June 2014 12:06

Surprisingly this is the only comment like this so far!

xkatiexhx 5

Sunday 29 June 2014 0:34

Dude the first time I got high I ran down the high street asking this boy I was with if he wanted a ******* then a handjob and then sex. It's normal for the first time

sweetbliss3 37

Monday 30 June 2014 5:32

normal? idk anyone this has ever happened to. you sound like a ho.

cjmedic 12

Sunday 29 June 2014 4:36

That's not too bad, just funny. My brother tried to fight the dentist and our mom when he woke up; I just tried to talk to her in sign language (despite not using it in over a decade). Everyone reacts differently.

lina21 12

Sunday 29 June 2014 6:26

Why didn't you go to another clinic! Never let your coworkers, let alone subordinates see you drugged up

JD1147 27

Sunday 29 June 2014 6:57

Well at least you're honest

DaniBee420 6

Sunday 29 June 2014 14:18

Oh that's too funny :D Don't stress it OP, they hear that kind of stuff all the time. Apparently I was hitting on my dentist as I was leaving. Don't remember a thing lol. I'm sure they've heard worse, trust me.