Today, wanting to change from the usual pizza/coca cola menu, I decide to cook. After spending 1h30 making a "beef chili with ancho, mole, and cumin" I sprinkle a bit of salt on top of it. The top came off the salt. I think it's back to pizzas for me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML
Today, work was exhausting, so I decided to get a pretzel crust pizza from Little Caesars on the way home. When I got home and opened the box, not only was the pizza cooked rather poorly, but there was also a mountain of salt strewn all over it, EXCEPT for the crust. How do you even mess up that badly? FML
Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML
Today, I ordered a Pide with extra chilies. They must have understood, "Put all the chilies you have on my Pide." I now know what hellfire tastes like. FML
Today, I was making one of those microwavable pizza kits. Realizing I had no crushed red pepper to put on it, my mom suggested using a chili pepper she had dried. Thinking it was a great idea, I cracked it open on my pizza and out popped some fuzzy white mold and two maggots. FML
Today, I’m learning to cook and invited friends over to prove I’m improving. I timed everything perfectly… or so I thought. I realized I’d never actually turned the oven on. We stood around a beautifully plated tray of room-temperature lasagna while I said, “It just needs… a bit more time.” Two hours later, we ordered pizza. FML
Today, I tried a new recipe for dinner. However, the recipe was written by someone with a penchant for overly dramatic storytelling. I spent the entire evening deciphering the narrative while desperately trying to salvage a dish that ultimately tasted like disappointment. FML
Today, I made homemade pasta from scratch. I spent hours kneading the dough, rolling it out, and cutting it into perfect strips. When I went to cook it, I realized that I forgot to add salt to the dough. The pasta tasted like damp cardboard. FML
Today, I enjoyed my favourite pizza topped with jalapeños for an extra kick. I later got to feel that kick a second time as I vomited in the middle of the night. Some came out my nose. FML
Today, I spent all day carefully preparing a wonderful homemade beef and vegetable stew from scratch. Close to dinner time, I tasted it and it was inedibly salty. Confused, my horrifically bratty stepdaughter then laughed and admitted she poured salt in it because it wasn’t what she wanted for dinner. FML
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Top comments
Timmytwofinger 0
try sprinkling salt into your hand and then put it in the food
Eir_fml 1
I'd say don't give up. Cooking can be fun, and delicious.
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Comments (50)
XxCoolPersonxX 0
I was confused about the "the top came of the salt" thing but umm try making a different dish something...easier
oopsie_daisy8446 0
YDI for eating chili. It is discusting and looks like the kind of food pigs eat out of a trough.
krispybacon4321 23
Chili is delicious. I eat it almost every day. When my mom went to jail, chili was there to cheer me up.
PenNameHere 0
try mac n cheese, instant rice, boil hot dogs. you=lazy=ydi
dontgiveacrap 0
"discusting" WTF? The word is "disgusting" and Chili(when made correctly) is fantastic. Also, why didn't you just scoop out the extra salt?
Ferdinard 0
haha! cum...in! get it?!
greyzero 0
pizza is the crown of any table, and the table is the king of mealtime. dont take the kings crown damnit! >=|
what_the_fail 0
YDI for eating peoples' amputated moles and putting 'cum' in your chili.
TheyCallMeThumpe_fml 0
not sure if this is a Win or a Fail....
GiddyXD 0
ikr? "NOOO, I SPILT SALT!!! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! FUCKK MYY LIFEEE!!!!!!!!!!" <-- what op would've said.
Dancaholic 0
for future reference op, put a potato in there if its too salty and let it simmer for another half hour and then take it out. my culinary teacher says itll take away a lot of the salt:)
TheyCallMeThumpe_fml 0
looks like he Cummin'd to soon xD