Today, the only parking spot available at the supermarket had some shopping carts in it, so I got out of my car and moved them. As soon as I finished, a lady stole the spot. When I confronted her, she maced me with pepper spray and walked off. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I noticed a woman struggling to work a parking meter, so I went over to help. She took one look at me before screaming, hitting me in the face, and running back to her car. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
Today, I found a parking spot in front of my work. I parked and another car pulled into the spot just in front of me. The next thing I know, the car in front backs up and slams into my car. Turns out she didn't notice the fire hydrant next to her spot and screamed at me cause I, "stole her spot." FML
Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML
Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping when I left my cart to grab an item. I returned, and started pushing the cart again. Halfway through the store, a furious lady confronted me, demanding her cart back. I had to walk back in shame to find my own actual cart, which was now nowhere to be found. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML
Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML
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Top comments
user53658 15
Wow... I hope you at least deflated her car tires after she went inside and you got your eyesight back.
azouwa 26
Put the carts back.
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Comments (40)
PenguinPal3017 19
I hope you called the police.
_Hakuna_Matata_ 12
Key her car.
nanxi 30
I hope you did the reasonable thing and put the carts back behind her car
Davros 12
If I thought she knowingly did it I would put every cart I could find around her car
Mungolikecandy 19
Dependent upon how aggressively you confronted her then an assault charge may be made against her.
Lobby_Bee 18
Go to a bush and take a dump. Then smear your shit inside the radiator fins. The heat would bake the poop onto the radiator and besides smelling bad, the baked on crap would be difficult to remove without damaging the fins.
RichardPencil 32
I'm disturbed by your expertise with this procedure!
thehaystackerine 20
You mean the only parking spot close enough for your bitch ass to walk from?
Vada53 15
completely warrants keying her car!!
retailsuxa$$ 6
key the ***** car ,box her in with carts or repeatedly slam carts into her car to do as much damage as possible.
Mooglefox 24
You should have pull your car in the spot before moving the carts