Today, the framed memorabilia that I spent $195 on last week...

By Anonymous - Australia - Camberwell

Today, the framed memorabilia that I spent $195 on last week came crashing to the floor. It was on my wall for less than 2 hours. The picture is torn and the glass is shattered, but at least the frame is alright. FML

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Money

Miscellaneous

Proactive

Dangling modifier

Thanks, government

By talktothefacecausethehandswanking - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, my husband decided he would rather rage-wank to my mum's Facebook profile picture than make love to me. FML

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By Baconcook3000 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I put 7 kisses at the end of a text instead of 10. She said that our relationship was bound to fail if "I can't remember important things like that". FML

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By soontobedumped - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Coldwater

Today, I am one year away from getting a university degree. Unfortunately, my parents just kicked me out because I wouldn't drop out and work for free at our family's gas station. I'm now broke, homeless and have no way to pay for school. FML

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By Johna Richardson

Today, after my boyfriend ignored me for hours playing video games, he gave me some attention for a little bit. When I tried to run my fingers through his hair, I missed and punched him in the face. FML

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By BangBangBzzz

Today, I went for a much needed relaxing massage. As I lay down, the renovation works in the next building started up. FML

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By Something I said? - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

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By morgan_rumm

Today, I texted my mom asking how she was doing. Apparently she's great, and on her honeymoon. I didn't know she was getting married, or that my parents had just gotten divorced. FML

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By unashamed - Australia - Ipswich

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

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#LurkerForLife

Today, I realized that my social life is so dead the only thing I do that involves other people is read FML. I don't even participate in the comments. FML

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By captainkevineff - United States

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

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By blumaster04 - United States

Today, in an effort to repair our fake Christmas tree, my girlfriend succeeded in gluing it to the floor. I can't get it loose. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Boise

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

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By gothicvamp93 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML

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By CaityLovesBo - United States

Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML

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By mastel07 - United Kingdom - Stevenage

Today, I found a very light blonde long hair on my marital bed's pillow. I confronted my husband about it and after hours of arguments and me throwing his stuff out of the house, I found another. Attached to my head. My husband isn't having an affair, I'm just going grey. FML

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By dhbeaver - United States

Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML

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By friendless

Today, the reason I’d rather elope with my fiancée than have a wedding is because I have no friends. FML

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By mylifesuckssss - United States

Today, I received a 7 page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

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By insulted - Canada

Today, I was denied membership to an all-women's gym. Why? Because "men are not permitted to join". I am and have always been female. FML

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By BejeweledJizz

Today, after weeks of being addicted to Bejeweled Blitz, I couldn't stop thinking about it while having sex with my girlfriend. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Amelia

Today, my brother thought New Year's would be more epic and memorable if the fireworks were set off in the family room and not outside. It is memorable. FML

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By wow babe - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

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By SKuser - China

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later came into the T-Mobile that I work at to return the Sidekick that I bought for her. I had to transfer her account to a new Iphone. She got the Iphone from her new boyfriend, who works across the street from me. FML

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By pancakessdsjsn - United States - Lake Forest

Today, while cleaning tables at the fast food place where I work, I had to remove two human teeth from a table top. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

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By cheshirealyce - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my day began with a "Good morning, beautiful." and ended with a "Maybe someone would love you if you were pretty." FML

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By buxton1 - United States - Ramona

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

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By Rinelric1998 - United States - Greensboro

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

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By - France

Today, I am spending new year absolutely alone. My girlfriend canceled our plans the day before so she could spend it with alcohol and strangers. Somehow, I still love her. FML

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By thanks, cunt-o - Australia - Blackburn

Today, my friends convinced me to go out clubbing with them for the first time. "You'll get some action", they said. The only action I got was some drunk bloke staggering into me and spraying me with vomit just minutes after arriving. FML

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By Anon - United States

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

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By blow away - United States - Middletown

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

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By athlete47

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I was "changing too much." My big change was a haircut. FML

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By Tristansefam1367 - United States

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I was training a new volunteer at a clothing donation center. While explaining how to sort donations, I reached into a garbage bag full of clothes and something on my hand caught my eye. It was a bed bug. The bag was full of them and they sought refuge up my arm. FML

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Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML

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By "mindy12182" - United States - Des Moines

Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML

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Top comments

By ashilyy24 | 8

#7436743 - Tuesday 11 April 2017 1:42

I'd try to sell that frame. Obviously it's made of an indestructible wood.

By thatslifeiguess7 | 15

#7436754 - Tuesday 11 April 2017 2:10

Um who framed it? or did you spend all that money then not hang it right

COMMENTS

By RockPrincess26 | 16

#7436734 - Tuesday 11 April 2017 1:04

That blows harder than a horny porn star.

dramaelf | 37

#7436798 - Tuesday 11 April 2017 5:52

My, that was colorful

By ashilyy24 | 8

#7436743 - Tuesday 11 April 2017 1:42

I'd try to sell that frame. Obviously it's made of an indestructible wood.

By Akitakat | 31

#7436746 - Tuesday 11 April 2017 1:51

Be thankful for the blessings that you do have! Then use some glue to recreate your memorabilia & frame it again. This time using caution as to how it's hung considering the size & weight of it. Good luck OP! :)

By thatslifeiguess7 | 15

#7436754 - Tuesday 11 April 2017 2:10

Um who framed it? or did you spend all that money then not hang it right

By CassyM | 6

#7436769 - Tuesday 11 April 2017 3:26

Ohhh that hurts. So sorry.

By Cali | 54

#7437336 - Wednesday 12 April 2017 11:48

Sounds like it was too heavy for the way it was hung. I hope it was salvageable!