Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my new couch was delivered. As the delivery guys left, I came back into the living room and noticed a bad but familiar smell. I turned the couch cushions over to discover that my cat had already claimed it as her personal litter tray. The return policy doesn’t cover "cat defilement." FML
Today, my son got his furniture delivered: one massive, super comfy armchair for him, followed by the lowest, most angular, most uncomfortable sofa I’ve ever sat on. Turns out he did this on purpose so that guests can’t get comfy and are compelled to leave as quickly as possible. Introverted tool. FML
Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
Today, the couch I ordered finally arrived. It was a long search and a little expensive but worth it for the extra comfort. It is perfect, except for the fact that it doesn't fit thought the staircase of my building. Now it's standing in the hallway because they won't take it back. FML
Today, my $1300 mattress that I bought for my new home was delivered. To my old house. FML
Today, my son got the last of his furniture delivered and finally moved into his first house. This boy has exactly one chair, a massive armchair pointed at the TV. When I asked him where the hell visitors are supposed to sit, he said that visitors generally won’t be welcome, even me. FML
Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML
Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML
Today, I got a brand new couch. My husband told me to keep our puppy off of it so we could keep it nice. She jumped on it, and as I picked her up to put her back on the floor, her claws dragged across it and ripped two of the cushions. FML
Today, I spent a long time steam-cleaning a mystery stain on my living room carpet. I turned the light on to get a better look at it, and realized that it was a shadow. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jw90 18
Well now you know. And you can send it back to get a new one.
SansVostro 7
Did they sell it as used or new?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
pam241 15
I hope you returned it and cussed out the person who sold it to you.
buddy51 23
Cum on, OP, shoot your wad and ejaculate some spurts of outrage to the furniture company- See-alis your way to shoot off your mouth to them, don't dribble and drip yourself into some sort of limp post-coital impotent rage. Stand erect, firm, and throbbing with aroused desire, push yourself and your needs in hard and deep and demand a cherry couch that's virginal and not splattered, spewed, gang-banged, hot-dog-in-a-hallway broken down and pregnant with lusty illegitimate seminal history!! You don't need this vi-aggravation!!
Welshite 40
Either you are the most sexually frustrated person I've ever seen, or you went waaaay overboard on the sex references. I'm going to go with sexually frustrated.
buddy51 23
Not surprisingly.
seacadet 18
Well, I thumbed you up.. That looks like it took some thought.
AngrySailor 17
"You don't want to sit on that couch. You don't want to clean it either..." -Ed the Sock
limitedition 25
Don't think of it as a used couch, OP, think if it as pre-loved
ihearuscreamin 13
Send that nasty couch back and go get a new one from a DIFFERENT place!
Jharrist89 12
I hope the op will come back to tell us all what the outcome was. I'm just wondering.. If in order to sell a couch requires it to withstand sex lol.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
I hope you get your money back & hopefully find a new couch without the love stains...
byrdshywolf 2
That sucks ur luky ur son pointed that out
Samafilbeit 11
Wow, definite FYL, but I'm confused. Is OP asking whether it's worse that someone's bodily fluids are present on his new couch, or that his son knew enough about these matters to do a black light test? I guess if the son is really young he might be a bit disturbed by that, but the choice is clear!
Ypetrol 11
How does he know