Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML
Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML
Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML
Today, I met the new boss, who kicked the door open looking 15 years-old, with sunglasses on hiding his hangover, threw his bag on the desk knocking everything over, and greeted me with, “What the hell you doing in my office, bro?” This is going to be a complete disaster, I can feel it. FML
Today, we got a new manager in his 20’s who has never worked our industry before. His introductory speech included, “and you will respect me as your superior.” Our veterans have pranked him three times already and he blames me because mine is the only name he seems able to remember. FML
Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML
Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML
Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML
Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML
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Top comments
desireev 18
**** that!!! I'd tell him to shove it!! FYL
StoryOfTheYear 15
I suggest a rebellion.
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Comments (182)
zoPwNAgEzo 21
I'd rather be employed
uprising_fml 0
could be worse . he could have you all say 'can I suck your dick sir ?' when he he comes into the room . pretty sure hail to the king isnt that bad .
docscientist 10
Just because someone is in a higher position than you doesn't make them better, or their job necessarily worth more by justification, it only means (in an office) the position is limited. Judging from fmls and experience, any twat can be a boss. Op's boss deserves to be taken down a notch.
evilplatypus 39
Uprising - Except one is legal whereas one is sexual harassment. I'd rather the one you suggested, Uprising, because that way the boss would be fired pretty damned quick.
zombicidal 11
don't you hate when your boss is Duke nuke em
emodude44 0
I was looking for this comment...
bretty_boieeeeyy 0
Same
ikickgingers 15
Names Ash... Housewares.
invivoful 10
The ONLY way he could get away with it is if he was Ash Williams with the chainsaw hand.
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
Army of Darkness FTW!
jackrileymac 4
Hey it could be way worse. He could make you kiss him!
steviesnm 6
No, actually he couldn't.
rubberduckie94 13
well maybe he just has a weird sense of humor or maybe he is just seeing who will have enough nerve to stand up to him. dont do it and see what happens. maybe he is looking for someone who is not a mindless drone
twifan1901 0
Or maybe he seriously wants them to bow down to the king:)
NippsSlipps 10
I'd say "Simba!" in a ominous voice.
Hyperion11 2
I dare you to say "Sieg Heil!" and give him the Nazi Salut, the next time he comes around.
zombicidal 11
I double dog dare you to spell salute correctly (I understand it could be a typo)
AdrianEC 15
Form a resistance, rebel when he least expects! Other than that, FYL.
QueenMichael 16
Actually, that sounds like fun.
perdix 31
That's actually better than the phony bullshit here where we call our bosses by their first names. Here, we have this fake facade of equality where the reality is that the bosses hold our balls in their hands and can squeeze 'em, slap 'em and cut 'em off whenever they want.
Awsumuzzie 12
What do they do with the females, then?
shanemaximo 7
Damn man, where the hell do you work?
txgirl09 5
Aww. that's so sad. I love my boss. I once referred to myself and my coworkers as subordinates and they said this wasn't feudal england and we were equals....and actually meant it.
sheethapins 13
Plain and simple, the ladies get screwed.
perdix 31
#61. They issue them a pair of balls during orientation and open enrollment.