Work: Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought...

By Poorman - 11/12/2011 01:03 - United Kingdom

Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 309

You deserved it 4 278

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Same thing different taste

By earths_venus - 24/07/2010 07:44 - Australia

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 969

You deserved it 3 603

Workplace etiquette

By Anonymous - 04/03/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 452

Suck up

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 06:58 - United States - Cadillac

Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 790

You deserved it 3 416

Nepotism rules

By SHIIIIITTTT - 10/08/2012 23:16 - United States - Houston

Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 184

You deserved it 1 788

Meritocracy is a lie

By Anonymous - 30/05/2023 00:02

Today, we got a new manager in his 20’s who has never worked our industry before. His introductory speech included, “and you will respect me as your superior.” Our veterans have pranked him three times already and he blames me because mine is the only name he seems able to remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 117

Goofs and gaffes

By Chelsea - 23/02/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 220

Grammar rules, OK!

By Anonymous - 21/09/2011 12:11 - United States

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 103

You deserved it 9 384

By texasbest - 02/09/2015 02:39 - United States - Lindale

Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 742

You deserved it 2 016

Pleased to me you

By Anonymous - 25/08/2012 00:20 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 904

You deserved it 8 171

Office Space

By Mishlette - 23/01/2015 13:27 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 880

You deserved it 2 751

desireev 17

Sunday 11 December 2011 2:52

**** that!!! I'd tell him to shove it!! FYL

StoryOfTheYear 14

Sunday 11 December 2011 2:56

I suggest a rebellion.

Comments

zoPwNAgEzo 21

Sunday 11 December 2011 3:02

I'd rather be employed

uprising_fml 0

Sunday 11 December 2011 3:03

could be worse . he could have you all say 'can I suck your dick sir ?' when he he comes into the room . pretty sure hail to the king isnt that bad .

docscientist 9

Sunday 11 December 2011 3:08

Just because someone is in a higher position than you doesn't make them better, or their job necessarily worth more by justification, it only means (in an office) the position is limited. Judging from fmls and experience, any twat can be a boss. Op's boss deserves to be taken down a notch.

evilplatypus 38

Sunday 11 December 2011 3:46

Uprising - Except one is legal whereas one is sexual harassment. I'd rather the one you suggested, Uprising, because that way the boss would be fired pretty damned quick.

zombicidal 11

Sunday 11 December 2011 3:05

don't you hate when your boss is Duke nuke em

emodude44 0

Sunday 11 December 2011 5:58

I was looking for this comment...

bretty_boieeeeyy 0

Sunday 11 December 2011 6:30

Same

ikickgingers 15

Sunday 11 December 2011 6:55

Names Ash... Housewares.

invivoful 10

Sunday 11 December 2011 7:48

The ONLY way he could get away with it is if he was Ash Williams with the chainsaw hand.

Red_Wing_Nut44 14

Sunday 11 December 2011 16:41

Army of Darkness FTW!

jackrileymac 4

Sunday 11 December 2011 3:07

Hey it could be way worse. He could make you kiss him!

steviesnm 6

Sunday 11 December 2011 14:00

No, actually he couldn't.

rubberduckie94 13

Sunday 11 December 2011 3:07

well maybe he just has a weird sense of humor or maybe he is just seeing who will have enough nerve to stand up to him. dont do it and see what happens. maybe he is looking for someone who is not a mindless drone

twifan1901 0

Sunday 11 December 2011 3:20

Or maybe he seriously wants them to bow down to the king:)

NippsSlipps 10

Sunday 11 December 2011 3:10

I'd say "Simba!" in a ominous voice.

Hyperion11 2

Sunday 11 December 2011 3:12

I dare you to say "Sieg Heil!" and give him the Nazi Salut, the next time he comes around.

zombicidal 11

Sunday 11 December 2011 6:41

I double dog dare you to spell salute correctly (I understand it could be a typo)

AdrianEC 15

Sunday 11 December 2011 3:17

Form a resistance, rebel when he least expects! Other than that, FYL.

QueenMichael 16

Sunday 11 December 2011 3:28

Actually, that sounds like fun.

perdix 29

Sunday 11 December 2011 3:32

That's actually better than the phony bullshit here where we call our bosses by their first names. Here, we have this fake facade of equality where the reality is that the bosses hold our balls in their hands and can squeeze 'em, slap 'em and cut 'em off whenever they want.

Awsumuzzie 12

Sunday 11 December 2011 4:26

What do they do with the females, then?

shanemaximo 7

Sunday 11 December 2011 4:35

Damn man, where the hell do you work?

txgirl09 5

Sunday 11 December 2011 4:55

Aww. that's so sad. I love my boss. I once referred to myself and my coworkers as subordinates and they said this wasn't feudal england and we were equals....and actually meant it.