Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, despite my warnings and knowing I hate them, my wife got a trashy tattoo of an eye on her ankle, like she’s Count Olaf. How is she going to get a job with that thing? FML
Today, my girlfriend got a new tattoo - the Blink-182 logo on her stomach. I wouldn't mind it, except she got pregnant a month ago and I'm pretty sure that it can't good for the baby. FML
Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML
Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML
Today, my wife had our first child. He's identical to her coworker. FML
Today, I have a tattoo of my daughter, who died when she was 11, and I had to have surgery on that body area. I told the surgeon very clearly to cut around the tattoo and he assured me he would. Woke up and the bastard had cut through my daughter's face, and half her face is now under scars and stitches. FML
Today on my birthday, my wife thought it would be a good idea to get matching tattoos. Our tattoo artist happened to be her ex-boyfriend. I sat and listened to them talk about their relationship and how they should stay in touch. FML
Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is leaving me for a tattoo artist. I was in rehab and she met him getting a tattoo as a surprise for me. FML
Today, I found out the tattoo symbolising my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
Hey don't worry, she's your daughter and you should love her anyway and it'll just make for an interesting story.
KingGeorgeGal 12
That's not a big deal. You should just be happy that the baby is healthy!
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Comments (207)
Wealthyparrot 9
The baby "Today, I was just born to two beautiful parents. They're perfect in every way, but I was just squeezed through a ******. FML."
OnyxChronic 9
Her nickname shall be crybaby? (:
Jaxx66 21
Thank you 46! I was actually going to post that if I didn't see anyone else make the reference! That movie was epic xD.
OnyxChronic 9
How does your comment about my comment get upvotes but my comment got downvotes? Some people are just so jealous.
perdix 31
She probably killed her twin in utero. Dunh, dunh, dunh!
skyeyez9 25
Some birth marks will fade. So it may be barely noticeable in a few years.
xslurpyx 17
i have the same mark!
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Well at least you know she won't need a real tattoo :) Cheer up OP, what matters is that she is healthy.
gc327072 31
would a lightning bolt on the forehead have been more desirable?
Flaum 7
Congratulations! She is healthy, and that is all that matters. :)
my_name_is_earl 9
She did her time...in the womb
aidanrulz11 10
Lol