Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my therapist told me that I need to do something different with my hair. Then I paid her. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me, saying she'd started to appreciate herself more with the help of a therapist. That I paid for her to visit. FML
Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML
Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML
Today, my parents screamed at me for cutting my wrists. They asked me if I wanted a therapist. I said that I didn't know. Then my mom said, "But wait, it's going to cost a lot of money!" FML
Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML
Today, I went to see a certified trauma specialist for my PTSD. I saw her for 35 minutes of my hour-long session because she ran late with the patient before me, and then kicked me out early. Her expert treatment plan? "Just don't think about it." I paid $260 for that. FML
Today, my therapist told me she can’t see me by herself anymore because frankly I have so many problems, I need separate therapists, each with their own specialties, to work together on me as a team. I didn’t think it was that bad. FML
Today, I've been seeing a therapist after more than 20 years of struggles. I think I saw him cry during our sessions a few times. I guess that my inability to live my life at the fullest was hard earned. FML
Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML
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Top comments
Webslinger66 10
You are beautiful. No matter what they say!! You now owe me $50
ALlamaOnFire 20
Ditch that bitch.
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Comments (138)
sqeakyclean 7
That's just "Dirrty."
bobbos100 2
I hope she at least gave u an iPod to listen to her advice
KRiddle 15
Promising.
doglover569 0
I know your "Hurt", but I can't make you "Beautiful" I'm no "Genie In A Bottle" ;)
The_Hitdude 12
Pretty sure the last one was a Brittany Spears song... *braces for flood of thumbs down*
geod69 8
Just imagine what she'll recite for 200 dollars
ADuckOnQuack_fml 0
Well that's just worse than the holocaust!
DocBastard 40
No. Just no.
ScotsLassie 6
If her therapist feels that Christina said it better than how she could have put it then there is no problem with that, but she should have said "do you know the song.... Because the words....seem to fit with what you are saying, does that make any sense to you". That might have really worked because it could help her to relate. But she shouldn't have quoted her without saying why cause that might just feel like she was taking the Mick.
KrayKrayGurl117 7
Its cheaper to just buy the songs on iTunes ;)
austint123 4
Hello
angeljewlz 7
Is it me you're looking for????
SoultheWolf 19
Please never go to her again, she sounds like a horrible therapist who can't think of things herself.