Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML
Today, my stepbrother, with whom I’ve had a normal relationship with since we were 5, announced that he’s in love with me. I rejected him, but now my stepmom who’s Catholic is blaming me for "seduction and immorality" blah blah, while my dad now thinks my brother is a pervert who needs to live somewhere else. FML
Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML
Today, I went to a family reunion with my brother and my mother. She spent quite a while giving a glowing introduction for my brother to one of her cousins. Then, just before walking off, she jerked a thumb in my direction and said, "Oh, yeah, and that's his sister." FML
Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML
Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML
Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out, "Well fuck you too." Very awkward silence. FML
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Top comments
tegraturbo2000 15
keep your door locked op
Welshite 40
Boundaries exist for a reason. You need to set both him and your mom straight.
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Comments (232)
My_name_isnt_Pip 3
Step-brother or not, that is weird as **** to just come out and say something like that to someone.
dareintheren 7
F
nanner42 13
Well technically, you two aren't related. He's a step brother...not a half brother.
termin8tor786 10
This is truly messed up but if someday by chance scarlett johansson becomes my step sister than I will have no choice to use that line.
DJisHere11 19
Yes very creepy because incest is not a good look. Literally!
alexbrooke 14
i'd sleep with one eye open.
ZingZilla 8
Not incest if there step brother and sister.
awkward_panda 8
well atleast your not blood related
BobbieH 19
Be thankful he's too stupid to realize you're not related or else you'd have to put up with his advances!
schalk 12
12 000 Volts is a nice way to say thanks to such a compliment