Health: Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants...

By liu_kang - 16/03/2010 18:55 - United States

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 173

You deserved it 7 721

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 547

You deserved it 10 692

By Anonymous - 20/01/2012 23:33 - France

Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 880

You deserved it 5 469

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 613

You deserved it 22 056

By Jac - 17/01/2010 19:59 - United States

Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 794

You deserved it 32 838

By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 030

You deserved it 9 987

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 324

You deserved it 21 695

Pain like no one has ever seen before

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 353

You deserved it 5 869

By Anonymous - 15/05/2018 01:30

Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 471

You deserved it 3 731

Unexpected

By Matt988 - 22/03/2021 23:00 - India

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 292

Ripper

By Pantess at work - 30/03/2021 16:00 - United States

Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 153

fml212121 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 23:43

schlong

Fedor_fml 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 23:46

Fatality!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments

shitwit2234 0

Monday 23 January 2012 6:15

FATALITY! ZIPPER WINS!

missababgaga 19

Sunday 5 August 2012 7:33

This reminds me of that one scene in the movie, "There's Something About Mary".... that sounds like it was quite painful, sorry dude!

Exelbaradin 4

Tuesday 9 October 2012 23:21

Had that happen when i was 2

RoseBlack123 37

Monday 22 April 2013 20:04

Ouch

chawlar 2

Saturday 14 June 2014 14:37

You deserve it for using the mortal kombat referrence.

LizReszke 11

Thursday 28 August 2014 19:39

What a stupid FML to get approved. Not everyone is going to get that stupid reference.

parksejun 11

Wednesday 10 September 2014 5:25

Chuck Norris's schlong wins all the time

Coolaidegirl 18

Saturday 23 May 2015 7:49

hey moderators! this needs to be illustrated and put up! pleeeeease

NigerianPrince 11

Monday 21 September 2015 22:28

scorpion? raiden? that bitch milena?

Wardog22 3

Thursday 16 June 2016 5:16

well, it probably wasn't big enough to reach the zipper..... just saying.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, according to my emotionally distant boyfriend, stopping by a whorehouse on his way home several nights a week for a quick blowjob isn’t cheating, because it involves cash and no intimacy afterwards. Dumped his ass real quick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 206

Today, after arriving, I was told that there will be mandatory drug tests for everybody at my work. Yesterday, I did joints at a friend's party, as it was her birthday. I'm fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 1 504

Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then "All By Myself" came on the radio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 296

You deserved it 3 661

Today, I was let go from an unpaid internship. The reasons cited was that I seemed unhappy at work. No, that's just my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 915

You deserved it 2 009

Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said, "Good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 446

You deserved it 38 271

Today, I found out that the word "segue" is pronounced like the "Segway" brand. Unfortunately, I found this out as I was giving a speech, which someone interrupted to correct me. I'm a 41 year-old salesman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 265

Same thing different taste

Pain like no one has ever seen before

Unexpected

Ripper

Top comments

Comments