Miscellaneous: Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's...

I am envisioning OP's mom got 4 boxes of pasta on sale and thought oh, that'll last me all year. Until OP plowed through them. One family's year supply may be different than another's.

TheBrochure 22

Friday 26 July 2013 13:05

Allons-y, Alonso!

irishmaiden78 23

Tuesday 30 July 2013 23:19

Shh, spoilers!

slap_u_much 6

Friday 26 July 2013 13:07

Who wouldn't

fakedsincerity 32

Friday 26 July 2013 13:18

Well that sounds healthy...

beclaurela 18

Friday 26 July 2013 13:29

My life.

Ruuku 11

Friday 26 July 2013 13:33

I took down 4 fudge cakes in an hour and all I got was diarrhea.

MidnaLink 33

Friday 26 July 2013 13:40

How the hell'd you do that?!?!

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Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for three hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. Before we'd finished, we were interrupted by my ex dropping my daughter off with no notice. In my rush to answer the door, I hopped off my boyfriend. The condom came off inside me. After a few minutes of feeling around, I pulled the condom out, and discovered I was on my period. FML

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Random

Today, after months of convincing from my friends, I finally bought a car they claimed would be a chick magnet. Wrong kind of "chick," mates. FML

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Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 850

You deserved it 76 046

Today, my boyfriend's father suggested that, ideally, I should aim to have my baby in early July, or wait until he gets back from Europe in October. I'm due September 4th, and he will be "incredibly disappointed" if he misses the birth of his first grandchild due to my "selfishness". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 170

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Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML

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Today, my fiancée wrecked my car so I had to use my other car to pick her up. Ten minutes after I did, my other car broke down in the middle of the road and I had to get it towed. My insurance covers none of these incidents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

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Today, I told my daughter her mom was busy fighting aliens, so I wouldn’t have to tell her that her mom is just a shitty, self-absorbed bitch, who doesn’t deserve kids. FML

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You deserved it 1 111