By deflower - 22/01/2013 08:09 - United States - Huntington Beach

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 714
You deserved it 5 030

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iamabamf 17

I'm curious to know how she found out you weren't "pure."

I'm sure she thought you slept in different bedrooms, and coordinated your schedules so you could avoid each other until you were married.


iamabamf 17

I'm curious to know how she found out you weren't "pure."

Probably walked in on them

Werken247 14

She found them on clips4sale

I would assume a conversation about the dress? "Oh and of course you must have a white dress - wouldn't want anyone thinking you were a slut!" "Uh...mum...?"

She probably asked them why they weren't wearing their purity rings and they came clean about it.

67 - I'm pretty sure at least three quarters of the women who marry in white aren't virgins.

67- the white dress is more of a tradition, than a symbol now.

3/4 is seems low...

*gasp* heathens!!

badbaby_87 5

Did you say this while shoving your fiancee in the closet and making sure all evidence of your sin was hidden before your mom came to visit?

#47 ....what?

beachchick9498 5

Now there's a word you don't often hear in day to day conversation.

Heathens and floosies are two under appreciated words.

I'm sure she thought you slept in different bedrooms, and coordinated your schedules so you could avoid each other until you were married.

Oh the impurity of this FML is unbelievable. You should feel ashamed OP.

So I guess she didn't give you matching purity rings?

She got them condoms instead.

Shrouds 14

No, she did. But they "lost" them.

ilovera 7

You my friend just made my day

ninjaqueen101 18

What's so bad about that?

that the mother lacks common sense. don't get me wrong, I know there are couples out there who have lived together for a long time and are still "pure" but you usually know who those ones are. their vow is generally nothing private and its nothing to be ashamed about, so the mom thinking that her son would stay pure when he obviously had made no commitment to staying pure by the way he worded the FML, is just ignorant. and also to get upset over someone making love to a person they truely love shouldnt be bad. if a person wants to wait, great for them, if not, fuck your brains out for all I care. its not my body or my life so im not going to judge.

Werken247 14

I don't think it's a case of the mom lacking common sense, I think she's lacking reality.

Also, it's none of her damn business.

Hmm, could all talk to my mother? ...Please?

heinous966 15

It would appear that we are in a similar situation. ._.

"Purity is for drinking water, not people."

luvmaboo 7

WOW...that's not awkard at all!!

*awkward Why can no one spell it correctly?

My favorite is akward.

The worst one is "ackward". Really??

It's spelled purple* geez...

At least I can derive humor from these numerous misspellings. I just sound them out phonetically. TRY IT!

"akward" sounds kind of Klingon to me xD

catanita 18

Let us know about her mother's reaction to this news.

Or her father's reaction.

My guess is that very few fathers would be that ignorant!

Just tell her it was only anal and oral (not in that specific order) and that both do not affect your "purity" since technically your wife to be is still a virgin...

Merylwen 24

No. Sex is sex. No matter what hole you use, you lose your virginity.

nycwrestler 17

I Wouldn't count oral as sex, but anal definitely counts.

It's supposed to be sarcasm...

perdix 29

#10 is right in some communities. I've heard in some religions, a woman only loses her virginity when a penis goes in her vagina, so they've got virgins doing a lot of anal and oral. Rules are rules!

Guys do it in the ear then..

Once you go black... You go deaf.

Once you go black, you go deaf....

KiddNYC1O 20

10- How is that pure? Literally...

#17 that is truly one of the funniest things I've read on this website.

Sorry, but oral sex is sex. What's really sad is that OP is a guy, and his mom is upset that he isn't a virgin at the the grand old age of 28.

chelsearenaeee 16

How can you be that much in denial?

Apparently, quite easily. :)