Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML
Today, not only did my horse step on my foot & refuse to move, he also took the opportunity to crap on my other foot while I was incapable of moving. FML
Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML
Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, I was at a rodeo warming up while my mom unnecessarily bragged about my training skills to a client. My horse then threw me into a gate at a full gallop, in front of everyone. That was the first time he'd ever misbehaved. FML
Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML
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Top comments
Soloman212 28
Maybe he was just actually a very polite horse and was trying to carry you as far away from the smell as possible.
Ritchie1 7
I guess you could call it A night-mare
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Comments (82)
BobbieH 19
My Arabian mare is spooked by inanimate objects like rocks and mailboxes, but she doesn't spook from her farts. However my Native American Indian Dog will scare himself every time his farts make noise. If its silent he doesn't seem to notice the rankness he is unloading on his unsuspecting people. My wife thinks it is hilarious when the dog has a fart scare; right up to the moment she can smell it. Then her attitude changes quickly!
SamCat 21
hey OP my baby girl used to do the same at age 2. She would blow a tiny fart and look back and run off because they scared her lol. Hope you didn't hurt yourself from the fall.
Joshido 17
Clop
circlelranch69 1
You dont know how to control your horse? Dangerous take some lessons
colvindj 22
hahah what the **** scumbag horse.
Inkedldd 8
Stupid horse. Lol
Caiti92 5
You should teach your horse a one rein stop to prevent further incidents such as this. Often when a horse spooks pulling straight back to a stop will not work. Instead teach your horse how to flex laterally on the ground. Then practice it under saddle, by only using one rein to bring your horse to a halt they can't brace against you nearly as much. Get this down and you can save yourself many many falls.
LarissaAllen 10
Excellent advice.
dakotahulsey 15
Well that stinks
laceyexile 10
I guess you did do an emergency stop,Cause your horse would have stopped the seconded you started the emergency stop. I have been ridding for 13 years and it always works for me and the children I teach at my place of work.
LarissaAllen 10
Time to learn the "one rein stop" me thinks.