Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML
Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AndyBoy 0
FYL indeed sir
ellephaba101 0
I don't get it...?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (176)
cinnamondiva 0
well that is really a Fml story
simon_lala 0
that's why it's mind blowing. duh
angels_siren 0
My bf does this too. he'll say sexy things (which he rarely does awake). in his sleep he'll talk about me giving head, and push my head in the direction, and push my head down, and i'll indulge him. sometimes he will touch me also. which is also rare in rl. in the morning he wont remember. ive even recorded some of his sleep talking to replay to him. he tells me never to do that cuz it freaks him out lol (record him i mean)
Tnut12 8
Is your name Tyler Durden?? :D
teenflirts 0
oh sh*t, hope she aint preggo
Dark_Angel003 0
Hahaha you got raped =D!
MizuWolf 3
Rape!!!
tonnyfong 3
Was she in the right room? Maybe you'll hear your dad saying the same thing to your mom. Lol.
henry214365 4
LoL
Candygirl720 6
lol u poor thing u sorta deserved it though cuz u were knocked out, n u had the power to say no n just let her do all the work. Then u probably would've had a very good dream