Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By T3STI - 07/05/2013 01:44 - United States - Grand Prairie

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 914

You deserved it 194 496

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

thebeautybleeds 17

Monday 7 May 2012 8:17

Yeah... You deserve that. I hope she told your girlfriend.

CaptNomNom 17

Monday 7 May 2012 8:17

U totally deserved that u unfaithful excuse for a man.

Comments

PaigeS215 0

Monday 7 May 2012 10:24

your a piece of shit. you didnt even deserve to see the birth of your child. that baby is going to hate your ass for knowing you hurt there mother. i hope she leaves your ass and takes the baby. people like you make me sick.

ThatGirl6 9

Monday 7 May 2012 10:26

Wow, your a douche I hope she told your girl

greenmen 12

Monday 7 May 2012 10:31

Worst mistake never play with girls from same town

FML1366 0

Monday 7 May 2012 10:40

Please get hit by a bus :)

pnutbutternjelly 15

Monday 7 May 2012 10:40

Good. That's karma.

nickbw 0

Monday 7 May 2012 10:42

You're a scum sucking shit head and you don't deserve to be a father, I hope your girlfriend finds a better guy to raise HER child with. Go die.

mrphychrs 5

Monday 7 May 2012 10:42

OP quit stealing my oxygen you fuckstain. give it a little time and you'll wish you'd been a better man and stuck it out with your baby's momma and not ****** around on her.

asherm 15

Monday 7 May 2012 10:44

You are a douche. YDI

rogue2888 4

Monday 7 May 2012 10:45

You deserve it ya ******* loser

bubu93_fml 1

Monday 7 May 2012 10:51

you deserv it.p-r-i-c-k

6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14

Keywords

Embarrassing Awkward Cars Transportation Babysitter Relatable Family Kids Money Thief Depression Health Mental health Wanker Work Bodyshaming Love Vacation Annoying Students Parenting Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Cats Animals Weddings Public freakouts Cops

The Top

Today, I learned that the cancer patient in a foreign country I sent money too from an ad on TikTok was a deepfake AI used by scammers. I thought I'd actually helped someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 889

Today, the girl of my dreams told me she only wants me for sex and not a relationship. Apparently, she thinks that because I left my ex to be with her, that I’ll do the same thing to her. It’s not like I cheated to be with her. I left my ex when I realized I caught feelings for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 1 005

The Top

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 689

You deserved it 56 785

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 371

You deserved it 10 695

Today, I was supposed to be studying for an important exam. My parents decided to make me go to a surprise birthday party instead. We weren't allowed to leave until the party was over. The party was for the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 238

You deserved it 3 849

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 896

You deserved it 44 998

Today, my mother pointed out to me how much my fiancé looks like my brother. She's right. I never noticed before, but now I can't unsee it. I don't think I'll ever be able to touch him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 757

You deserved it 520

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 751

You deserved it 4 682