Intimacy: Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him...

By Anonymous - 04/10/2009 01:03 - United States

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 49

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

keso1 0

Sunday 4 October 2009 9:15

That is the greatest thing ever!!!!

M13LO 0

Sunday 4 October 2009 9:22

did he get to the cherry?

Comments

lolhaha118118 0

Monday 5 October 2009 7:28

fucking_shit_fml 0

Monday 5 October 2009 9:27

ahahahahah too ******* awesome! glad you shared with us!

han1213 0

Monday 5 October 2009 10:55

AHAHAHHAHAHHAHA I LOVE YOUR FIANCE. its not a fml at all, i would crack up n love him more if i were you.

Super_Vegetto 0

Monday 5 October 2009 12:07

Geez. Seriously??? C'mon now. Sex

Sipos 0

Monday 5 October 2009 13:01

Every guy has thought that. He was just awesome/honest enough to admit it. Sounds like a keeper.

ifinishlast 0

Monday 5 October 2009 13:32

wow... and girls complain that great guys are hard to find...

iamelrebel 0

Monday 5 October 2009 16:38

haha! that's awesome...

im_a_dinosaur 0

Monday 5 October 2009 16:41

hahahahaahahahahahhahhhahha that is fkn hillerious hahahahahahahhahahahahaha quite odd tho

qwertyone 0

Monday 5 October 2009 21:04

Your fiance FTW. You got oral and you now knows he has a good imagination. YLIA.

jEnNilovesADTR 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 0:56

at least ur getting any action at all.. you could be like jw90... oh and what the hell does FTW mean?

k43L1 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 21:03

it means "for the win"

Keywords

Work Management Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Relatable Gifts Mother in law Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Love Argument AITA Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

The Top

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 877

You deserved it 5 658

Today, my 15 year-old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 944

You deserved it 14 033

The Top

Today, my roommates told me they want me to move out of our apartment. We would have never gotten the apartment without my credit score, and most of the furniture is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 081

You deserved it 2 763

Today, my mother-in-law screamed at the top of her lungs in front of our friends and family that I was stealing her baby away from her. I'd only suggested we go home because he had a migraine. Her baby is 24 years old and has been married to me for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 517

You deserved it 285

Today, I tried to clock in at 2 pm, but the machine was malfunctioning and kept refusing my card until 2:01. Just yesterday, our manager gave a long angry speech about firing the next person who doesn’t clock in when they’re supposed to, “on the dot.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 87

Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 102

Today, I apologised to someone for my misuse of the word 'coloured' in a discussion about ethnic minority issues. They then got even more angry and said that to even quote the word in the context of an apology is evidence of my ignorance and inherent racism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 022

You deserved it 4 938

Today, while I was home sick from work, my neighbor got packages delivered. Our apartments have had a lot of thefts lately so, being neighborly, I brought her stuff inside to wait. When she came home, I gave them right to her. Instead of thanking me, she told the office that I was the thief all along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 126