By Anonymous - 09/04/2016 13:12 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 104
You deserved it 2 599

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Steffi3 40

If you know what they're talking about, just call her out on it. I mean, you are the parent

100% agree with everyone proposing op embarrass her daughter. Now if that doesn't work…start playing along and tell them about how you were sharpening her father's pencil the other night ;) (not only would she be mortified that mom is trying to sound cool by playing along, but hearing about your parents' sex lives is one thing a child NEVER wants to encounter; 2 birds one stone)

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Steffi3 40

If you know what they're talking about, just call her out on it. I mean, you are the parent

Plus they'll be so mortified, the thought of sharpening his pencil in her sharpener will be so far off the table because they will be so embarrassed.

I agree, I hope OP did something about it and didn't just let this slide. They must be really dumb if they thought their parents wouldn't understand. How do they think they were made?

100% agree with everyone proposing op embarrass her daughter. Now if that doesn't work…start playing along and tell them about how you were sharpening her father's pencil the other night ;) (not only would she be mortified that mom is trying to sound cool by playing along, but hearing about your parents' sex lives is one thing a child NEVER wants to encounter; 2 birds one stone)

#24 you are hilarious

That won't work...even if they think OP can't understand, they're still using that kind of language right in front of him. Embarrassment is sort of off the table, if you ask me.

For a parent, embarrassment is one of the most potent weapon, that's LEGAL!

im honestly just wondering how old she is and if her age is on the clock . because if it is holy shit shut it down ... that sorta made sense

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*teach not learn :)

Or teach her about safe pencil sharpening and let them make their own choices about their stationary supplies :) If they really want to have sex, they're going to have sex. If all you do is violently discourage it, they'll just be sneaker about it and probably be unsafe about it.

OP, you should tell her that sometimes when you're sharpening a pencil that the lead breaks off and there's no going back.

Are you suggesting the mother should break the boy's penis?

Actually #56 enxhi96, while that usage hasn't been common for over a century now, it is correct usage of the word "learn."

Um the fuck? If they wanna have sex then they can, just teach em how to do it safely.

#88 that depends on their age actually.. Kids are having sex younger and younger.

not really, we're just admitting that they are.

best suggestion ever!

#88, it really depends on the age, because in a lot of states its illegal for children under a certain age (between 11-15) to have sex. Its considered rape because at that age, usually they aren't fully aware of what they're doing/what sex means, and therefore cannot consent to it.

My only question is why the hell didn't you put a stop to it or at least say something?!?

How old is your daughter? If she's telling him that, maybe it's time for a serious talk with her.

I agree, it sounds like something a 13 year oold or 14 year old might do but the implication that they are sleeping together is worrying, depending on how old they are.

If she's talking that way it's probably too late for the "serious" talk and more likely time for the prevention talk.

I'm 24 and I definitely use euphemisms like this all the time, and my gf thinks it's hilarious. You don't have to be less than 14 to enjoy stupid euphemisms.

True, but most older teenagers realize that their parents know what they're talking about and it wouldn't be worrying for adults to be having sex.

Tell him if his pencil gets near her sharpener, he won't have to worry about it ever being sharp again

Or let her know her sharpener needs to wait and not threaten the genitals of a young boy?

Tell him if his pencil goes near her sharpener, you'll break the lead off.

Clearly when looking for a boyfriend sharpness wasn't on her wish list.

Hence the need for a sharpener

Thank you, captain obvious.

The girl is the one saying that.

#16, and if the daughter is a 14 year old freshman, or even middle schooler? Sometimes it's inappropriate to let that sort of thing happen.

Play the game with them. Tell them that no pencil is allowed in your house. And the sharpener shall be out of commission- grounded until further notice. Gotta Step up mom!

Wow! Last time I heard that euphemism, I fell off my dinosaur laughing. No wonder she got caught.

How much further did they go with that particular euphemism? "Great, I can't wait for your sharpener to make my pencil nice and short." "…" "What?" "Never mind, just drop it."