Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Today. I was sitting up having coffee early in the morning, still half-asleep. My dad walked in, getting ready for work. He asked if that was my water sitting there. He thought it must've be his, so he took a big gulp. OMG, I'd forgotten I'd poured a glass of pure white vinegar last night. His face was absolutely hilarious. FML
Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I spent all day carefully preparing a wonderful homemade beef and vegetable stew from scratch. Close to dinner time, I tasted it and it was inedibly salty. Confused, my horrifically bratty stepdaughter then laughed and admitted she poured salt in it because it wasn’t what she wanted for dinner. FML
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Top comments
patrickalamo 48
Remind him you will be picking out his nursing home.
Isoldael 27
My parents use the other approach: "Would you like some coffee?" "Sure!" "Good, then make me some too!"
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Comments (78)
Schizomaniac 24
He wanted you to take it with a grain of salt. :D
OhDearBetrayal 25
More like a bucket
Coop817 19
Turn his tooth brush into a salty surprise :D
perdix 31
Call the police and have him arrested for a-salt.
anythingmustbe 18
The salty dawg.
sophiekat 19
Next time offer to make his coffee and pit a little surprise in it!
MidnaLink 35
I don't want to think about where that could be heading!
my_name_is_earl 9
He put as much effort into messing up the drink as if he had just made it regularly, a simple no would have sufficed
camsterjoe 12
FML users attack with thumbs down. It's super effective, your comment is buried.
billyz77 24
Guilt has always been a very effective emotion. Could've faked a sodium overdose reaction. Maybe made your face turn red, faint and fall over. Just hope he doesn't ignore you because then you'll know he hates you.
rebelliousshroom 12
As I understand it, OP's dad put salt in the coffee instead of sugar by accident, and thought OP was being extremely ungrateful, as he couldn't understand that he made the coffee that bad.
SasquatchDeluxe 10
I don't know where you got that idea.
taranpreet 7
Meh, it's a possibility
VelvetRain 6
How do you confuse salt and sugar?! That would take a special kind of person...
luccmon 6
Couldn't he have been just as effective just saying that part before you drank salt coffee?