Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML
Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML
Today, my dad's conspiracy theory obsession hit a new level of stupidity when he blurted, "False flag" because our toaster stopped working. FML
Today, after a long discussion, my dad still doesn't understand how evolution works, and thinks it's a myth that was debunked a long time ago. FML
Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML
Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML
Today, my dad tried to convert me, as he has numerous times before, and asked me why I was an atheist. After giving him a polite explanation and asking him if we could drop the subject, he nodded slowly and said, "You must be menstruating or something. You'll change your mind." FML
Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML
Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML
Today, yet again, I got into an argument with my dad. I have a PhD in the subject. But he's "entitled to his opinion", for, as he said, he's read a summary of the history of the country in a tourist guidebook, and the general view doesn't have to be based on more detailed information. He also corrects me when I speak the language, which he doesn't know. FML
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Top comments
Skyblu10 10
Quick, grab your tinfoil hats.
143dav 8
It could be a possibility, but then genetic engineering might be their way of hiding unicorns...
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Comments (48)
karlcolt45 19
Black helicopters! Google it! hahahah
heerrnia 5
whatever man you'll be sorry when you get probed
wiiplay 9
I was probed once... It happened in a county jail. There were these large 'aliens' who smelled a lot of homegrown pot. They decided to stick their natural extensions into a hole located somewhere on my body... Then I woke up, and started a tinfoil hat business. It all worked out in the end.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Well, stop being a sheep, then.
Shadow_Phantom 26
(I guess people don't get sarcasm.)
wiiplay 9
Oh, no. They do. If anything, expressing sarcasm using digital letters that form words is an exceptionally easy thing to do. Take me and my tinfoil hat addiction as a fine example. I don't actually wear the hats, I just collect them, and possibly cook popcorn in them for pure pleasure. Besides, tinfoil hats don't actually save you from mind control beams and other mumbojumbo of the like. It just makes you look cool when wearing them. Everyone likes shiny things, and shiny things on someone's head is just pure awesome. Ps. This started as a sarcastic reply, but turned into a serious conversation about hats.
Shrike 24
I got it. It's just unoriginal and incredibly unfunny with or without sarcasm.
jennycoral 12
Well Russia isn't a 3rd world country... You'd think they'd realize if something was coming their way, meteors don't just pop up in seconds
outoftown 27
Just heard an astonomer say we've only mapped about 1% of the the asteroids near us, and this was more the size of a mini-asteroid than of a meteor.
martin_martian7 11
The footage was crazy!
twiztedone 19
It's the start of the Decepticon invasion!!!
thelittlebirdie 9
meteors, aliens in disguise
hienzburgess 9
he's right to en extent. what do you think of Area 51? this is OUR world, not the governments, who are they to decide what's good for us.
hienzburgess 9
whoever thumbing me down is enslaved to the government.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Ok, if you hate the government so much, leave society. Go live in the forests in Canada if you're that paranoid. Getting worked up over TWO thumbs down just shows your insecurities.
hienzburgess 9
Go live in the forests of Canada? Just wondering, why Canada in particular? Or are you just another idiot who thinks Canada is still natural, wild land inhibited by Natives.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Ahh, the mentality of a Conspiracy Theorist(TM). It's all "If you agree, I'm right. If you disagree, I'm still right and you're a mindless sheep" with them, even if there's evidence against their bullshit. Cue the "WAKE UP SHEEPLE" outcry.
bihex 0
haha
Brelywi 15
My dad's the same way. I feel you.