Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML
Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML
Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor being beaten by her husband. I anonymously called 911, hoping to help. She must've seen me giving the cops my statement because as soon as they left, she knocked on my door and punched me square in the face while screaming, "Mind your own business bitch!" FML
Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower and my neighbor called the police because they thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Being gay doesn't stop you from looking.
\ 28
Everyone is a little bit.. curious.
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Comments (104)
BobbieH 19
You're also criminally assaulted. If she thinks you're peeping at her she should have called the police and filed a report. Being gay doesn't mean you can't peep on women however. Just because you don't have sex with women doesn't mean you have no interest in seeing them naked.
Raum 19
Why would a gay man want to see a naked woman? Just trying to figure out your reasoning here...
DoginDarkness 8
Does being gay excuse a crime?
Raum 19
Obviously, it was OP's way of saying "I wouldn't be peeping because I don't want to see naked women". Was it really that hard to understand?
SystemofaBlink41 27
Does being an idiot excuse a comment? Almost...
Tidus0 17
Well if you weren't which I believe you weren't I would have said. Sorry that wasn't me but come to think of it I haven't smelt fish since this morning. Roughly around the time you said you had this shower. You may cop another slap but hey it will just rub her crazy feral ass in her face.
amifaiyaz 12
unless she knows you're gay, it's pretty plausible to her you're a perv.
Zimmington 21
If you're gay, why were you leering?!
Iniezian 18
Slap the bitch back!!!!
Iniezian 18
Guys, when he said he was gay, I think that was a clue that said he was not staring at her. I believe so many of you don't understand that.
Lunasis 14
I know right? common sense had become very uncommon
thisiscool19 14
thank you I read the comments and said wow some of these people are really stupid
ellenjasmin 18
God I hate people who think they're more attractive than they really are like sit down.
perdix 31
What hath Jason Collins wrought?
LiliumYureai 5
Maybe she was hoping you were looking at her and was flattered enough to slap you across the face?