Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML
Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML
Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor being beaten by her husband. I anonymously called 911, hoping to help. She must've seen me giving the cops my statement because as soon as they left, she knocked on my door and punched me square in the face while screaming, "Mind your own business bitch!" FML
Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower and my neighbor called the police because they thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
Being gay doesn't stop you from looking.
\ 28
Everyone is a little bit.. curious.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (104)
CaptainBlack 18
That would explain the leering...
Enslaved 38
Hey, everyone loves boobies! even gay guys! Tell the bitch to get curtains!
DBallin 10
I dunno about you, but curtains in a bathroom seems kinda odd. She should just get opaque windows if she doesn't have them already.
PaigeLeeAnn11 23
So, did you look?
asylumlane 23
Sounds like she needs to close her blinds or curtains while using the restroom.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Talk about wishful thinking, looks like your neighbour needs to get over herself
Omniprism 15
She assaulted you. You should have called the cops.
perdix 31
#56, peeping Toms don't often call the cops. They'd rather get slipped with an open hand than a restraining order (that involves confiscation of your high-powered binoculars and expensive lotion, or so I've heard.)
olpally 33
What a psycho bitch. She sounds a little too full of her self. I bet she isn't even that good looking. Lol.
tipdrill9 5
well, were you?
anmolm97 12
Assault Case!!
CaptMurdock 25
Did she do a boob dance for you?