Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me that he becomes a boring version of himself whenever we are together. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I went to see the new Twilight movie, for the second time. The first time was at the midnight premiere. I would be "okay" with it if the person who had dragged me to see it both times hadn't been my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
Today, I was supposed to see my boyfriend for his birthday. He said his parents were coming down and it may not be a good time for us to really enjoy each other. Last night I saw a picture of him feeding popcorn to baby llamas with his drunk stoner friends. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Today, I caught my best friend in bed with my current boyfriend. Apparently watching movies naked is "the new in thing". FML
Today, I went to a wedding with my boyfriend. He became moonstruck with one my friends and said she looked sexy in her dress. The whole night, I was nonexistent to him. He’s now confused as to why I’m giving him the silent treatment. He literally has no clue. FML
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
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Top comments
Awesomeelliot 11
Still a better love story than Twil....oh wait
theninja1800 11
Twilight is such a terrible movie. Truly. FYL OP for having to endure that in real life.
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Comments (169)
SiriusBlack97 17
FYL, OP, but this was hilarious to read. And isn't Twilight just a shitty romance saga?
paintedchocolate 30
He's done this before? And you're still dating? Kudos to you, girl. Most of us, wouldn't be able to put up with the emotional stress.
laughsalot1993 2
You gotta admit that is pretty awesome
BobbieH 19
That's a really bad way to clue you in that your boyfriend is gay. He should just come out and tell you. FYL
panda_lou 11
That'd be awesome honestly. Constant laughter.
GiveMeLove_fml 6
Your boyfriend is hilarious.
escobar07 10
Tell him your gonna bang his friend and see if he still does it then
Smartdumbblonde 27
If his friend is hot
DanielleinDC 34
You should really worry if your boyfriend starts to put sparkly stuff on when it's sunny out. Then you can tell him "Vampires don't sparkle, asshole."
SleepySloth 4
That actually sounds hilarious
SmilingMonsterCB 4
I feel sorry for you, OP. I hope he's just joking around, and not being serious. I find it odd though, usually it's the girl trying to MAKE her boyfriend like Edward and using Twilight as a guide on how their relationship should be like. Not this...