Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking... - FML

By Anonyme - 22/10/2014 05:31 - Colombia - Bogot

Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he was whispering, he said, “So they can’t hear me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 72

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

LennyComa 39

Thursday 2 June 2016 18:04

Well they can be vengeful little bastards.

janfleury 19

Thursday 2 June 2016 18:09

Truth. You never know where they are and how many friends they have.

Comments

dontknow1 19

Friday 3 June 2016 19:05

I think he was just trying to make you laugh.

Littlethings1 5

Friday 3 June 2016 20:20

At least he was being considerate of the mosquitoes' feelings...

geniusness 6

Friday 3 June 2016 22:59

He was correct to stay away from buzzwords.

CaptainTagada_fml 9

Saturday 4 June 2016 11:47

Plot twist : When he said "they", he wasn't talking about the moskitos.

J352SAURUS 30

Sunday 5 June 2016 4:53

I don't mean to be rude, but why is this an FML?

Aura_Borealis 21

Sunday 5 June 2016 8:01

this is amazing

cho_bee 9

Monday 6 June 2016 6:09

They can read lips...

Oh_No_Not_Him 25

Monday 13 June 2016 19:03

Well, the mosquitoes are ******* and anyone will tell you that's not a time when you welcome disturbance.

Keywords

Relatable Students Work Mental health Kids Parenting Awkward Love Embarrassing Family Wanker Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Bodyshaming Cops Cars Transportation Sex Sexism Growing old Health Periods Job interview Education

The Top

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 360

You deserved it 2 739

Today, I found out that my toxic mother-in-law's retirement plans include moving in with us when she gets old. The death glares I’m getting from my wife right now are so worth the satisfaction I got from telling that evil old bat I’d burn the house down first before I let her move into it with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 87

The Top

Today, I went for a job interview for a building position at a retail store. They saw on my application that I was good at math. They asked me what the circumference of a circle is. Being nervous during the interview, I accidentally said the area of a circle. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 340

You deserved it 7 357

Today, I know my son is a blockhead so I left him very specific instructions on how to put the pre-prepared ingredients in the slow cooker, set to high, and cook for 4 hours. He did all that, except the instructions didn’t tell him to press the START button. So he didn’t and our dinner is still raw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 324

Today, after months of my doctor telling me that my heart palpitations are simply due to anxiety, and that I'm perfectly healthy, I decided to weight train to face my fears. Two hours later, I was in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 530

You deserved it 3 249

Today, I awoke to find a water pipe burst. I frantically ran down to the basement to turn off the water to the house. What I didn't expect when I reached the bottom of the stairs was to have to start dodging the falling, wet ceiling tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 683

You deserved it 2 850

Today, I learned how unhappy my husband is in our marriage. Apparently he also can't find a good woman. We didn't have a heart-to-heart, I read his woes in a blog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 827

You deserved it 3 609

Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 968

You deserved it 12 772