Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, he got upset and accused me of making up words to make him feel stupid. All because I used the word "vapid." FML
Today, my idiot boyfriend, who thinks he's an outdoorsman, made sauce from mushrooms he'd foraged. I refused to eat it. He got upset and had two helpings. He's now in bed, whining about how bad he feels. Stupid dumbass. FML
Today, I yet again had to pretend to be a dumb bimbo so that my boyfriend wouldn't get upset over the fact that, in some cases, I might be smarter than him. FML
Today, my boyfriend got rejected by his dream college. In an effort to comfort him, I told him that he is incredibly smart and that it's their loss. He replied, "Of course you think so, you're an idiot!" FML
Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML
Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius, babe." FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
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Top comments
Helloilike_lacro 8
It sounds logical to me
SamSwebb 24
They don't?!
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Comments (58)
llamarachel 5
Please don't procreate!!!
catsie_fml 14
This doesn't sound like a big deal and shouldn't even be considered an FML because it does sound pretty realistic.
Ceejay1 13
haha,he tried to make it sound good..
depressingbunny 6
They do technically become slugs because they are a snail without a shell. So how are you messing with him exactly? Just curious.
Neyuu 18
A snail cannot separate from its shell. It would just die.
jenn1808 16
That's like saying I technically become homeless when I leave my house for work.
BananEnigma 24
I can't believe how incredibly stupid this comment is....
prljm10 10
Dump his dumb ass!!
amifaiyaz 12
He just didn't want to look stupid in front of you.
jonha21 11
Yupp another 1 of the Lost Fked upp Generation. They should all starting a Show Called #Lost Long live the 90s :)
pattayarick 8
So, it turns out that he is a 'tard. I hope that he's sterile.
jw90 18
Well I can see his reasoning. Even tho snails aren't slugs they do look like them when they are out of their shell.
cottoncandymango 17
I'm interested in knowing what school he even attended. Sounds fictional.