Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

Today, it was my first day as a promoted manager. I got fired for being late. FML

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

Today, I was yelled at and almost fired for showing up "late" to work. I was the first one here. FML

Today, I was supposed to start my first day of work at my dream job. However, my car had other plans and refused to start. When I called my boss to tell him I was going to be late, he told me not to come in at all and fired me on the spot. FML

No warning

Today, despite leaving early to go to work, I still ended up late because some dude decided to have an argument with the bus driver, delaying us by 20 minutes. As a result, I was fired without a write-up. This was my first ever time being late. FML

Today, I got fired for being late. Apparently you're supposed to be on time after your boss specifically tells you that the office will open an hour late. FML

Today, I arrived at work and was immediately given a disciplinary write-up for being two hours late for my shift. Apparently the manager had changed my schedule that morning and failed to tell me. FML

Today, I started a new yard maintenance job. Before the day had even ended, I got fired, because I apparently didn’t have enough experience, and I moved too slowly. It was supposed to be my training day. FML

You're fired!

Today, my employer fired me, less than a week before I could become permanent full-time staff. FML