Today, it's my 25th birthday. I closed at work, not one person...

By alone in ND

Today, it's my 25th birthday. I closed at work, not one person wished me happy birthday, no calls or letters from my family. Even my boyfriend of 3 years didn’t remember. FML

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2113

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Mama's boy

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Let's go girls!

Bachelor party

Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML

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3105

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By SkipLegDay - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, my untrained legs have been traumatised by the sudden regime of squats, mountain climbers and lunges I have been putting them through. I literally just have to trust-fall back onto the toilet and hope for the best, because my legs don't have the strength to support the gradual descent. FML

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By deathstar3548 - United States - Orlando

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

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39728

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By Bill Mantie - 18/4/2021 02:00

Turntables

Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML

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933

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By Paicked - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

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25304

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By the other man - United States - Fort Smith

Today, I learned that the girl I've been seeing for 6 months is actually married. She just dates me when her husband is pissing her off. FML

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51898

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By Paperboy - Bosnia and Herzegovina - Ilijas

Today, the highlight of my day was when I found that there was finally toilet paper in the cubicle at work. FML

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30426

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By Paul - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML

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53943

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By druglord

Humorless parents are the worst

Today, I asked my parents if I could have their old Polaroid camera so I could take artsy pictures, but they got all defensive, because, "Polaroid pictures can’t be traced." So I jokingly said I was using it to take pictures of my drug cartel to have a record of my stocks, and now they think I’m some sort of drug lord. FML

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1228

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423

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By imblue42 - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

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25180

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3681

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked out to my car to see four kids taking the hubcaps, radio, and license plates off of my truck. I chased them six blocks until I tripped and twisted my ankle. I limped back to my car and found a ticket on my windshield for $55 dollars. The reason? Missing license plates. FML

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77494

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3144

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By Dave B - Reserved

Today, I was verbally abused by a guy in a 4-wheel-drive twat-tank for listening to music on my iPod while I was "blocking the way." I was standing on the footpath waiting for a bus. At a bus stop. FML

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27405

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By grammarnazi-forareason - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57504

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3737

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By fatty - United States

Today, my fitness trainer husband told me that if I could not make the commitment to stay thin, he could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML

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46279

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15634

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By anonymous - China - Nanjing

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

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39095

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By waiting till marriage, she said - United States - Pasadena

Today, my apparently insane and now ex-girlfriend actually claimed she didn't technically cheat on me, because she set her Facebook relationship to "single" before screwing my brother. FML

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35811

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2499

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By unzucht - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

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25332

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2445

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By Anonymous - United States - Guthrie

Today, I went running. I live in a small town and people know me fairly well. It was dark when I went to avoid the heat. I was almost finished with my run when the cop comes up and asks me what I'm running from. Clearly being fat and out of shape is not a good enough alibi. FML

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33250

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By HereWeGoAgain - United States

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

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38864

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3060

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By nalathelionqueen - United States - North Hills

Today, the summer camp I work at had its annual scavenger hunt, wherein the counselors hide and the kids look for us. It was my first year there, so some of my colleagues showed me the "best hiding spot." Two hours later, still undiscovered, I realized they just wanted to get rid of me. FML

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26453

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3065

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By LGraham

Weird kid

Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1455

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282

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By Italian_Stallion - United States

Today, I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me heard Joe Jonas' voice coming from my phone. I am 40 years old. FML

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14083

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, while my teacher was in the middle of a lecture, I accidentally made it so my laptop would display everything upside down. It took me the rest of class to get it right side up again. FML

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9161

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By CollegeFreshman - United States

Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML

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39486

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By abutorac951

Panic! At the Costco

Today, I had to drive over an hour away to buy toilet paper. FML

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1617

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147

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By sobasics - United States

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

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47327

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By fordn4h - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend, who is obviously still in love with me, is best friends with my mom. Now every time I come home, she is over. She even spent 4 hours helping us decorate our Christmas tree, and now she is telling my little sister about our love life. FML

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37427

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5169

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By im_a_mocker - United States

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

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23236

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By HotAsTits - United States

Ah, young love…

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

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50885

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By stupid useless criminal

Today, I saw a young child passed out unattended in a hot car so I smashed the windows to rescue him. After waiting with him for 30 minutes, his mom came out and called the cops on me. I officially have a probation violation and the mom went home free. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5469

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535

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By keerta_fml

Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML

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4730

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By Sad Mom - United States - Wylie

Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML

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31780

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By Christmasloverandstuff - United States

Today, my extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for my extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from my re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. FML

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13868

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By Anonymous - United States

Beat It

Today, we had an office party and everyone had to dress as a dead star. I love Michael Jackson so I dressed up as him. It turns out I looked more like my boss than Michael. I was then written up for "theoretically" killing my boss. FML

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1585

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168

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By JustplainSad - 15/8/2020 23:01

People are strange

Today, I found out my friend of 15 years, who cut off our weekly gaming group during Covid after a fight, is speaking to everyone but me. I wasn't even in the fight, I just checked in to see if he was OK after. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1421

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149

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By Anonymous - Canada - Calgary

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30670

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2165

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By somewhatlucky - United States

Today, my mom convinced me that she and my dad were getting divorced. I have anxiety problems, so I had a panic attack. She then laughed, and said, "Just kidding, I wanted to see your reaction. It's the best so far." FML

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36986

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By surprise - United States

Today, I was getting ready to go to a surprise party I'd planned for my best friend. All was going well on the discretion part until I logged onto Facebook. I saw that my sister had set her status to, "At Natalie's surprise party! BBL!" Natalie had liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34065

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I learned that all it takes to anger my sister's new parrot is to walk past its perch. I also learned that a beak over two inches long is very capable of inflicting injuries that require stitches. FML

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28083

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By Not Supportive

Today, it was my boyfriend's grandfather's funeral and visitation. These things make me nervous so I, not thinking, made comments that included the words killing, dying and death. I'm a rubbish support system. FML

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1422

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Top comments

By TCRII | 29

#7824826 - Thursday 25 July 2019 16:15

Happy birthday

By LostSoul | 19

#7824841 - Thursday 25 July 2019 17:22

Not actually true. Just a statement of how selfish and disconnected we have become. Thank you internet.

COMMENTS

By TCRII | 29

#7824826 - Thursday 25 July 2019 16:15

Happy birthday

By RichardPencil | 30

#7824828 - Thursday 25 July 2019 16:19

That’s a reflection on how you treated people during the previous 364 days.

LostSoul | 19

#7824841 - Thursday 25 July 2019 17:22

Not actually true. Just a statement of how selfish and disconnected we have become. Thank you internet.

RichardPencil | 30

#7824857 - Thursday 25 July 2019 17:50

Neither of us can know for sure.

oakleyoaks | 20

#7845966 - Tuesday 24 September 2019 7:16

I’m actually very kind and hard working at my job. I get praise often form my boss it just so happens that her birthday is the day after mine so I’m often forgotten

By [email protected] | 4

#7824829 - Thursday 25 July 2019 16:30

happy birthday

By Mathalamus | 24

#7824835 - Thursday 25 July 2019 16:52

Birthdays get less important over time, but not that less. Oh well. Not a lot you can do.

By alicelouise66 | 5

#7824855 - Thursday 25 July 2019 17:49

that's why you remind people in advance.

By raven_of_azarath | 34

#7824909 - Thursday 25 July 2019 20:08

My birthday’s heading this way. Both my mom and brother gave me leftover Christmas presents for my birthday (which is in February). My mom gave me the bag and told me it was supposed to be Christmas present, but she couldn’t find it. My brother gave me a book he told me Christmas Day he had ordered but it hadn’t come in yet.

By swagmag | 2

#7824910 - Thursday 25 July 2019 20:13

happy birthday op

By WaywardSaint | 3

#7824977 - Thursday 25 July 2019 23:33

Happy 25th Birthday OP!

By whathaveigotten | 3

#7824999 - Friday 26 July 2019 0:46

Happy birthday Bebe

By childlessmother | 16

#7825050 - Friday 26 July 2019 2:25

Welcome to adulthood