Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, my mom called me in a panic because someone had hacked my phone and was sending her evil faces. They were emojis I'd accidentally butt-dialed. FML
Today, my dad let me use his phone. Five minutes later, he had my mom call it because he thought he'd lost it. FML
Today, I discovered a tracking app enabled on my phone so I switched it off to save battery space. Within 20 minutes my mother rang and demanded to know where I was, what I was doing, if I was with some woman… you get the picture. I'm 32 and own my own apartment. FML
Today, I was taking a selfie. My grandma saw me, then after smirking to herself, she went and told my parents that I was "doing that sexting thing". They believed her and grounded me, even after I showed that all my photos and sent messages were totally innocent. FML
Today, my girlfriend went through my phone and when she found nothing she accused me of having a secret second phone, and is tearing apart the house and both cars looking for a secret phone. I’ve been making calls so the cops and a locksmith are on their way, I need this bitch out of my life. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, my parents searched my younger sister's phone because she had been acting suspiciously. I asked my mom if she was going to search mine too. She laughed and said, "Sweetie, your phone is probably even duller than mine!" FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
It's because she knows the NSA would not want to look at the nasty shit.
LookAttMyyLifee 12
You got her , burnnnnnn.
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Comments (64)
egrudy 9
Dear god so many crazy people that need meds.
smokecloud_ 37
#34 thats the problem with the world everyones hopped up on some kind of medication SO THE GOVERNMENT CAN CONTROL US ALL. lol.
RedPillSucks 33
Probably a guarantee that the NSA won't look through her text. They would have to pluck their eyes out
tomgun_fml 16
How funny because what they are doing is recording all texting so how Ironic
DaGinsta 9
Eh, are u a Canadian??? Lol
akyna_fml 3
Email her as 'NSA leaker' telling her her sexts are being intercepted and if she doesn't stop, the matter will be handed over to local law enforcement for p0rn0graphy charges!
jman26 11
Your username. Priceless
ashleefucker 5
Lol , my friend covered her front & back camera w/ stickers on her phone & tablet!
mandacleary 14
if the government wanted to watch you they would be. and they'd be so good you wouldn't even know it. it would take alot more than putting stickers over your camera to keep them out...
flashback_fml 14
Haha he didn't say that to her
DollyDope 17
Your mom's sexting habits should really be of no business/concern to you. . . Just sayin'
worldclassrager 41
People can listen to conversations and track people via cell phones but not spy on you...if she was trying to hide what she is doing on her phone throw hers away...