Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up in the hospital with a broken coccyx. Apparently, my drunk self came to the glorious conclusion that it would be a good idea to cannonball into a puddle while screaming "POOLPARTYYYY!" at the top of my lungs. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
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Top comments
snufflebubble 13
Nobody helped you out before you fell back asleep?
lilhellian 27
Why would have a hamock over hard ground? And YDI for getting shit-faced drunk.. Learn your limits..
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Comments (83)
s0m3guy2010 21
At least you were able to find concrete evidence of the "Nappy Time" incident. I guess you just couldn't face the facts at the time.
NurseJonathan 9
Aw bloody hell. Shouldn't you have known better than to drink excessively? Honestly there must've been a cell in you that said, "Getting intoxicated in a party, especially at a colleague's birthday party is a sure way to cause trouble." I'd be glad I got away with a bloody face rather than learn I puked on the cake.
jelly713 19
That sucks your "friends" couldn't have at least cleaned up your face & patch you up & maybe leave you on a pillow, at the very least. But you shouldn't go past your limits anyway, especially when you're not around real friends.
NurseJonathan 9
It was a colleague's birthday party. So the Original Poster may not have been surrounded by people that like or care about them.
jelly713 19
My bad, 22. I'm used to thinking friends are there at any given party just because a party's a party in my head. But all the more reason for OP, to not go past his limits at parties.
NurseJonathan 9
If you think there's usually friends at parties, you've obviously never been to mine.
NurseJonathan 9
Apparently nobody understood my joke.
jelly713 19
LOL, jeez. So randoms make up the entirety of your parties?
NurseJonathan 9
No. Just people who don't like me. :3
pere 11
At least you didn't take a dirt nap.
amDes 11
dirt would have been a lot softer of a landing...
NurseJonathan 9
I hope you know he means death.
ohSNAPyall 27
Of course, you know this means war.
karlcolt45 19
all in a days work for captain alcohol!
heathz 9
concrete 1 you 0
scottyspot 11
So, how was the party?
iChompYa 18
Don't drink if you can't control yourself
Flaum 7
Sheesh, people are talking as though OP wreaked havoc on the neighborhood. Can't a gal/guy get drunk once in a while safely around friends on special occasions, and trust that true friends, if they can help it, won't let you smash your face into the concrete?
Schizomaniac 24
Hm, gonna have to go with "no." There's a difference between getting safely drunk and getting so drunk that you have no recollection of smashing your face into the ground so hard you wake up covered in blood.
jelly713 19
It's a pain in the ass if the person drinks too much & is too stubborn. Taking care of someone who thinks they know what they're doing even as they're nodding head first to the floor... They're a danger to themselves. If they're violent, they're a danger to others & themselves. Drinking too much is not safe drinking. Even if you're not a danger to yourself or anyone, alcohol poisoning could happen. So drinking more than you can handle is a no no, no matter what you say.
NurseJonathan 9
A friend of my mom in his fifties came onto me while intoxicated. Enough said.
NurseJonathan 9
Oh yeah! And once my mom's boyfriend said something stupid to her while drunk and she punched him so hard, he fell to the ground.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Flaum, there's a huge difference between getting drunk and blacking out.
Zebediabolical 45
I got as far as 'got so drunk' and clicked YDI.