Work: Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of my...

By soakedga - 08/04/2013 16:56 - United States - Statesboro

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of my tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up, I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hour while I put my uniform through the dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 592

You deserved it 4 275

soakedga tells us more.

soakedga 3

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Wednesday 10 April 2013 21:02

OP here- yeah I did wrap up in a sheet. No extra uniforms that I could get to- they were all locked in the GM's office. And I'm a woman small enough to be pulled into the pool by a cleaning robot. Oh- there was a camera that I managed to avoid for the most part, but my boss did get a kick out of seeing me trying not to let the sheet fall while I shoved my clothes in the dryer.

Work

Mind the handbrake!

Pampered

Nutter on the bus

By mommydearest - 04/09/2011 16:08 - Denmark

Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 260

You deserved it 4 103

By Anonymous - 05/07/2015 05:42 - United States - Tampa

Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 475

You deserved it 2 524

By anonymous - 17/05/2016 00:29 - United States - Ashland

Today, at the laundromat. I loaded a huge load into the top dryer, put all the quarters in, and started the bottom one. I realized my mistake when I came to check on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 117

You deserved it 3 786

By ScorpioQueen - 21/09/2009 23:34 - United States

Today, I decided not to park in the parking garage on campus, in an attempt to save the $8 it would have cost me. Instead, I parked in a surface lot (about a mile away) and got a $50 parking ticket for not having a permit to park there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 475

You deserved it 43 040

By Anonymous - 25/01/2019 20:00

Today, I called 911 and got taken to hospital via ambulance after a suicide attempt. When I called my mom, the first thing she asked was, "How much is the ambulance going to cost?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 815

You deserved it 959

By kappaomicron - 19/01/2010 23:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my "wanker-stick" was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 049

You deserved it 6 600

By just hangin - 17/01/2017 12:00

Today, as I was pulling wire for an addition to my boss's house, I was on a ladder drilling a hole when my coworker kicked the ladder out from under me and left me hanging from a rafter twenty feet in the air. To make matters worse, I had to pee. I'm now in my car with dead arms and wet pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 858

You deserved it 504

By ihatebeingacashier - 11/07/2016 21:06

Today, I handed a middle-aged woman her change of $0.75 with three quarters. She looked at the change bewildered and threw the coins down, asking if she thought I could get away with only giving her thirty cents. I had to explain to her how much a quarter is worth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 183

You deserved it 724

By Anonymous - 13/12/2012 08:31 - United States

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 422

You deserved it 1 923

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 07:25 - United States - Springfield

Today, I told my boyfriend that it's time for him to stop blaming others and own up to his mistakes. He retorted, "Don't blame me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 346

You deserved it 3 825

By sonice - 18/08/2015 03:39 - United States - Duluth

Today, a guy asked me out on Facebook, then called me a conceited bitch when I said no. I don't know, dude; maybe it's just that I already have a boyfriend, that you asked me out on Facebook, and that you posted the same message on 4 other girls' walls as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 384

You deserved it 1 862

By Anonymous - 27/11/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 395

You deserved it 3 588

By windshitwipers - 30/05/2013 09:41 - United States - Denver

Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 149

You deserved it 4 392

By krh14 - 10/02/2015 12:59 - United States - Crofton

Today, my girlfriend was feeling a little down, so I tried to console her. She said she just needed space and I respected that. Then an hour later she was fine, so I asked how she did it. She replied that she talked to her ex for a whole hour. This is a common procedure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 336

You deserved it 5 176

By Anonymous - 30/07/2016 13:45 - Maldives

Today, while using the bathroom I gave the toilet a courtesy flush, only for it to overflow and soak my pants. That would've been bad enough even if I hadn't been at work, with five hours left on my shift and no change of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 248

You deserved it 1 048

Tasty!

By Username - 31/01/2011 15:47

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 999

You deserved it 5 709

By 2fast4U - 21/03/2016 10:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, some of my coworkers have complained that I don't do my share of the work, though they can't specify exactly what I'm not getting done. Apparently, being too efficient and finishing first means I mustn't have done anything at all. The supervisor sided with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 396

You deserved it 1 624

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed because hers is ,"reserved for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 204

You deserved it 821

By Duckie W - 13/02/2009 01:24 - United States

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 621

You deserved it 6 204

By sos - 17/01/2011 03:59 - United States

Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 202

You deserved it 4 706

By zoearcu - 17/04/2011 18:32 - United States

Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 835

You deserved it 3 511

By weeks - 19/08/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 312

You deserved it 5 502

By CarSick - 23/02/2011 03:55 - United States

Today, I threw up in the car. While driving. The good news though, I had a bag to catch it all. Bad news? The bag had a giant hole in the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 326

You deserved it 3 846

By sweet - 28/07/2016 02:50

Today, I discovered that despite locking the bathroom door of an airplane, a man is still fully capable of walking in on you changing your tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 721

You deserved it 1 910

By spiderinmylips - 24/06/2009 20:19 - United States

Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color, when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchish popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 052

You deserved it 7 463

Awkward pause

By MothmanKirbaby - 10/04/2021 14:00

Today, a close friend called me to inform me of his newest relationship, and why he's kept it from me - he's been seeing his male cousin for several months and was tired of hiding it from the world. I had to keep my shock in check over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 123

By bigcityfail - 07/05/2011 11:54 - United States

Today, I learned that my apartment building has two new tenants: my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé, the guy she cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 742

You deserved it 3 284

By Mateo - 14/12/2008 03:58 - France

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 756

You deserved it 67 329

By FML - 21/12/2013 16:58 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 159

You deserved it 3 633

By kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 756

You deserved it 71 465

By protoplasm stole my seat - 26/01/2013 01:24 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 423

You deserved it 2 798

Horrendous website content

By Anonymous - 20/02/2021 13:01 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after she found a disgusting and perverted porn site on my internet history. What was this site? Reddit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 146

By Anonymous - 31/10/2017 13:36 - United States - New Castle

Today, a student turned in homework she copied off an online answer key. The wrong key. My students are too stupid to cheat right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 765

You deserved it 292

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 758

You deserved it 5 506

By Anonymous - 05/12/2014 03:29 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 902

You deserved it 2 629

By anonymous - 09/08/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, my wife heard that wifi could be harmful for our newborn baby's undeveloped brain box. Her solution was to switch the wifi off on our laptops. She won't listen to the flaw in her plan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 165

You deserved it 3 149

By wronged - 08/07/2011 08:41 - Singapore

Today, my extremely paranoid boyfriend called me a whore and threatened to break up with me, all because he had a dream in which I had sex with my ex. I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 429

You deserved it 7 854

By pimplesapparently - 18/02/2016 20:17 - United States - New York

Today, I sent my friend a snapchat without any makeup on. She asked what filter I used because it made my face look all red and blotchy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 137

You deserved it 2 757

Let 'em in

By Muhd Hazrie - 05/08/2021 18:01

Today, my family decided that we should have our breakfast at a hawker centre, so I passed my house key to my sister as she carries a bag with her. After our meal, she said she was meeting her friend, so we went back home instead, only to realize that the door was locked and my sister had the key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 722

By Shirley - 15/02/2012 00:43 - United States

Today, while out for our romantic Valentine's dinner, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years told me that he believes in females being subservient, that I'm not allowed to have opinions anymore, that he is "the alpha dog" and I'm merely the "beta dog", and that I have to "get used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 820

You deserved it 7 550

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Top comments

tacojauns 45

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:09

I'm impressed all this without getting caught. A+ for you mister

kimg0885 23

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:07

Isn't there any spare uniforms ?

kimg0885 23

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:07

Isn't there any spare uniforms ?

lilhellian 26

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:11

Op will get confused as someone else..

NurseJonathan 9

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:11

There might have been some, however may not have been in the laundry room.

jarrettd 27

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:18

You weren't alone op. i was there.

Bloodjoker 11

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:30

I'm gonna say no... unless he's used to hiding naked in the laundry room and that's his happy place :-)

annihil8or 15

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Tuesday 9 April 2013 0:18

How do you know op is a guy?

NurseJonathan 9

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Tuesday 9 April 2013 0:20

We don't. But if Original Poster were a male or female, the kink factor the robot pulled on them was still nice.

ironichalibut 24

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Tuesday 9 April 2013 1:51

17- I don't always comment on people's pictures, but when I do, it's because it made their comment oh-so much sweeter.

5n000w 4

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Tuesday 9 April 2013 4:03

*Aren't there

ohSNAPyall 26

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Tuesday 9 April 2013 5:24

Or at least a towel? Or some sheets... Toga time!

fishstick557 14

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Tuesday 9 April 2013 6:09

Just like spongebob he lost his identity

kyu_Q 19

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Tuesday 9 April 2013 9:05

If there is a pool wouldn't there be towels near by?

CrimsonAmaryllis 18

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:08

FYL. Accosted and beaten by a robot XD

Misswildsides 22

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:11

Robots are slowly taking over the world!

ArielTheMermaid 17

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Tuesday 9 April 2013 1:23

Everybody run for your lives! Robots are taking over the world...our world!

ohgeejosee 19

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Saturday 13 April 2013 20:39

"Hello! You've reached the Navy's automation telephone service..." THE ROBOTS ARE RUNNING THE NAVY!

snufflebubble 13

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:08

There's got to be a better way. Surely your work had spare uniforms just in case. Hopefully theres no security feeds in the laundry room and no one ever finds out.

Shenanigans9 8

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:13

The robot saw it and is now probably scarred for life.

tacojauns 45

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:09

I'm impressed all this without getting caught. A+ for you mister

TrueTriage 16

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Tuesday 9 April 2013 4:38

We've found the ninja that would show up on people's roofs to point at others then disappear.

marcranger 28

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:09

This is clearly just the first stage. Next thing you know, Skynet's gonna go live.

scottyspot 11

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:09

Skinny dipping with a robot ftw!

NurseJonathan 9

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:49

Don't tempt it to activate the filter on you...

Wizardo 33

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:09

You should've taken a page out of Borat and run around the hotel stark naked, but hiding works too...

mattlw 25

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:48

I think there is a big difference in doing that when you are patronizing a hotel vs. working at the hotel.

jelly713 19

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Monday 8 April 2013 23:09

I would have wrapped myself up in a clean bed sheet if there wasn't spare uniforms. You know, walk around in a toga waiting for the uniform to dry. It's better than being naked at work.

ballpython 15

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Tuesday 9 April 2013 4:02

Agreed. I also work the night shift at a hotel. I have had my pants get soaked and had to wear only underwear from the waist down. I would have never gone naked and would have at the very least worn a towel of sheet.