Today, I woke up on the coldest morning of the year to discover that the gas fireplace has run out of propane, and there is no water because the pipes are frozen. While trying to locate the frozen pipe, I forgot to let the dog out, and she peed on the carpet. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my apartment building shut off our water for a short period of time because the pipes were being worked on. It was also the morning my dog had diarrhea on my cream carpet. Not only did I have to clean it up without water, I couldn't wash my hands afterward. FML
Today, I've been without hot water for three days thanks to a frozen water line. I finally managed to thaw the frozen area, only to have the chunk of ice dislodge, slam into a bend in the pipe, and burst the line. FML
Today, I woke up and realized I didn't start a fire last night. I live in Alaska and our winter nights can reach -30 below zero. My fish are dead, my plasma television won't turn on, and the cat has frostbite. FML
Today, I found out that shutting off the heat in the rental property my parents owned was a bad idea. The water froze and the pipes burst, causing the whole kitchen ceiling to fall down. The water ruined the wood floors and the appliances. I turned off the heat to save money. FML
Today, the water cut out while I was showering, covered in soap and shampoo. I had to rinse with freezing cold drinking water from the fridge. As soon as I'd dried off, the water supply got restored. FML
Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML
Today, my boiler packed up on me just as the weather has turned cold, with no money to have it fixed. Hello to a week of freezing cold showers. FML
Today, my upstairs neighbor's pipe burst because they forgot to close their porch door and, well, Wisconsin winter. My apartment is flooded and I'm spending my little money on a hotel. I think I'm homeless. FML
Today, I got a call from the Sheriff's dept. saying that water was coming out my front door. I ran home to find a waterfall cascading over my covered parking. It turns out my puppy had chewed through the hose that connects the toilet to the water. My entire condo had an inch of standing water. FML
Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10°C out. FML
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Top comments
Zimonada 8
He has no water, idiot.
boatkicker 4
In places where natural gas isn't a common thing many people call propane fireplaces gas fireplaces. Even in places where its not a bitch to get a gas line put in, people will refer to a propane fireplace as a gas fireplace on occasion.
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Comments (76)
TrollTrollTroll 0
you asshole stole my firsties.
kawaiixalice 15
Looks like a job for Hank Hill.
TheTragicReturn 0
Thank you. Now I don't regret reading these comments. :)
mathman101 3
i luv ur name troll troll troll :P :D
trixxi87 0
So then its a fireplace that runs on propane, not a gas fireplace.
boatkicker 4
In places where natural gas isn't a common thing many people call propane fireplaces gas fireplaces. Even in places where its not a bitch to get a gas line put in, people will refer to a propane fireplace as a gas fireplace on occasion.
madeline9322 17
Propane is a gas.
Ren_Eah 0
The coldest morning of the year? It's January 3rd. Maybe coldest morning of the season.
TrollTrollTroll 0
@mathman101 Originality at its best.
McCannCanTriple 0
#19 It was 17 F here last night, which in South Carolina, is COLD.
ZombieKnickers_fml 8
Is one of these one that are worded so that they happened today when actually it's just because FML makes you write "Today"? Because if it's not, then it's only the 3rd day of the year. But I'm doubting that, so I will say FYL.
mathman101 3
its -24 Celcius here in canada bro, u got it easy
cel123456789 0
#10 don't complain to #9 who is complaining to #3 who is complaining to # 1 and comment