Money: Today, I withdrew €40 at the ATM to pay for dinner later tonight.... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 1

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 92

Spicy

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 50

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 27

07/03/2011 21:38

Today, I withdrew €40 at the ATM to pay for dinner later tonight. It wasn't until I went to pay for it that I realized I'd taken the receipt, but left the cash in the ATM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 368

You deserved it 41 771

There's no helping some people

Bee Movie 2: Electric Boogaloo

Drunk

28/11/2010 07:10

Spicy

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 115

You deserved it 44 883

24/02/2010 06:29

Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 481

You deserved it 2 229

17/07/2011 08:43

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 302

You deserved it 22 508

05/09/2009 23:02

Today, I worked my first day at a nursery. At nap time I spent about an hour trying to get all the kids to calm down and go to sleep. I'd finally got the last one to drop off, when my phone rang. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 653

You deserved it 40 976

24/03/2013 10:20

Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 546

You deserved it 7 196

Crazy ex's girlfriend

By nil mil - 23/09/2019 22:02

Today, I sent my ex's mom several pics of the kids from our recent outing. Being the kids' grandmother, she loved them. Later, I got a barrage of angry, insulting and threatening texts from my ex's new girlfriend, saying that since he and I are no longer together, I should have no contact with his family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 951

You deserved it 215

12/07/2011 04:40

Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 437

You deserved it 10 487

Inappropriate crush

By Anonymous - 14/06/2020 17:00

Today, a week after my 10-year anniversary, I realized I've somehow been roped into hosting my husband's crush's birthday party with all their friends. My gift to myself was a $60 bottle of whiskey that won't arrive in time to help me with my debilitating social anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 320

17/12/2010 09:48

Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 954

You deserved it 3 956

One each

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 23:01

Today, my girlfriend was in the back seat of a car with one of my friends when she got sick and puked all over one of his dress shoes. My friend then asked me to replace his shoes, since she is technically unemployed and couldn't pay him back. We eventually agreed that I would pay for one shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 206

18/05/2019 04:17

Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 736

You deserved it 170

10/10/2017 16:00

Today, I went to my first ultrasound appointment. The daughter I was hoping for is actually going to be boy triplets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 141

You deserved it 1 218

16/03/2014 19:28

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 738

You deserved it 6 266

14/04/2016 00:29

Today, I was caller number nine on the radio, meaning I technically won the contest. I was too awkward, so they hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 704

You deserved it 4 616

31/08/2009 23:48

Spicy

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 964

You deserved it 2 903

22/08/2015 10:47

Today, my period started again. I just finished a 17-day period 3 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 767

You deserved it 2 115

28/07/2011 21:36

Today, I got the worst sunburn I've ever had in my life, and then discovered I'm allergic to aloe when I went to treat the burn with some gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 444

You deserved it 3 641

09/10/2010 14:36

Today, I was watching a movie. The ending was sad and I started bawling my eyes out. My boyfriend sitting beside me kept looking back and forth between me and the TV, so I asked what he was doing. He replied with, 'I don't know which one is better to watch.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 717

You deserved it 27 019

27/05/2011 08:45

Today, I went to hand in a job application, and the supervisor wanted to ask me a few questions. I was nervous so I kept touching the fabric on a nearby display table. Only after I left did my friend tell me it was a pantie display, and that I was fondling underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 725

You deserved it 9 147

29/08/2013 02:21

Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 868

You deserved it 2 923

19/06/2014 00:58

Today, a customer called the restaurant I work at to ask if our coupons were always valid, or if they expired on the expiration date printed on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 954

You deserved it 4 990

08/03/2011 15:50

Today, my friend convinced me that a staple gun doesn't work on skin. I decided to put this new piece of information to the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 634

You deserved it 99 438

05/12/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, to repay my brother who's been hosting me, I took his laundry out to wash. Loading the machine, I gave a tug on the corner of a towel and the biggest dildo I've ever seen flew out of the basket and bounced to a stop in the middle of the floor. Every. One. Saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 245

You deserved it 920

24/05/2019 06:14

Today, I worked a long shift at my job while feeling like crap, anticipating getting a promotion. As my boss was leaving work, he informed me that because I also go to college, the promotion was being given to another employee that I trained a month ago. This is the second time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 000

You deserved it 171

Better Call Saul

By Anonymous - 24/04/2021 05:00

Today, apparently according to my parents, since they raised me, it gives them the right to use the money I worked hard for, and there’s nothing I can do about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 91

28/09/2009 07:15

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 515

You deserved it 9 996

03/01/2012 05:32

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 295

You deserved it 2 608

Balls

By onehitwonder - 10/02/2011 07:26

Today, it snowed a lot and my friends and I went outside for a walk. Someone drove by and threw a snowball at me, hitting me square in the face. Surprised, I side-stepped only to end up losing balance and roll down a hill into a ditch full of prickly bushes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 827

You deserved it 3 784

10/02/2010 09:08

Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This would include: nazi symbols, white power, and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominately black neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 044

You deserved it 4 347

28/11/2018 15:30

Today, I posted my phone for sale on Facebook. Someone hit me up to buy it and wanted me to meet them. I didn't really want to drive to them, but I'm a mom of 2 and I needed food and some extra cash so I did it. The guy asked to look at the phone and ran off with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 066

You deserved it 672

02/11/2015 03:13

Spicy

Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 167

You deserved it 7 455

30/05/2009 23:48

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 837

You deserved it 53 982

Ouch

By Anonymous - 13/01/2013 12:41

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 351

You deserved it 5 177

Communication tool

By Anonymous - 10/10/2012 21:48

Spicy

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 166

You deserved it 6 156

13/12/2016 18:50

Today, my boss reprimanded me for not finishing my work on time. Yesterday, she cut an hour from my schedule every day until further notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 996

You deserved it 541

02/02/2011 17:11

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 502

You deserved it 4 847

27/11/2010 02:30

Spicy

Today, after having a long and serious talk about maybe having a relationship, the guy I really like told me to send him a "sexy picture." I sent him a picture of me in a bra and a thong. He replied, "Yeah, you're hot!" and signed off after ten minutes of silence. I haven't heard from him since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 512

You deserved it 45 904

19/07/2019 04:00

Today, I failed my driving test, and didn't get my great new job that a buddy helped me get. He got fired, and they won't hire me because he recommended me, regardless of how qualified for the job and how great the interview went. He called to tell me an hour before my driving test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 672

You deserved it 139

08/02/2015 19:16

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 315

You deserved it 3 674

16/06/2016 06:02

Today, my best friend was walking next to her crush, so I pushed her into him gently as a joke. She ended up stepping on his foot, which caused him to fall and crack his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 221

You deserved it 5 834

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:12

I guess someones having a good day...on you of course

ImKindaABigDeal 6

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 2:33

I feel like that would be the one thing I definitely wouldn't forget after going to the ATM considering that's the reason I went there in the first place

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Lifeisntfair13 0

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:11

that's y u need to check everything before you leave. especially at the ATM

Infamous_Hawk 6

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:15

Judas Priest.........

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:31

i know how you feel op, i forgot to get ketchup at lunch today! ]];

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:46

These always happen on mondays ='[

lovelynumber1 0

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 3:44

Oh the horror!

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 4:19

So did I D:

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 6:32

20 - put a shirt on. looks like your lower torso is contorted/ twisted.

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 6:37

ya u shuda checked and made sure u had the money, if it was important to u:/

florecitabetch 0

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 6:59

I always laugh at your comments 16

doubleshot555 0

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 14:22

this is the painkiller

knockknock_fml 0

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Wednesday 9 March 2011 11:55

Fake FML. In ATM machines if cash is not picked within 15 seconds the cash goes back into the machine and the receipt will not be printed until the cash is received.

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Wednesday 23 March 2011 3:25

blonde much?????

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:11

really? -____-

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 23:54

dumbass op

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Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:22

Someone's natural hair color is showing

2010smhill2010 0

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:12

thats so fucked up

primadonna9396 16

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Thursday 10 March 2011 2:49

Speaking of fucked up, were you drunk OP? Not that it would excuse your stupidity either way...

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:12

I guess someones having a good day...on you of course

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:13

Well geez the cash comes out first lol. Ydi for rushing obviously.

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:14

You could contact the bank, they can see who withdrew money after you. But it's a lot of trouble for €40, and I'm not sure if they do that in France too.

iftheglovefits 0

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:14

well that just sux! lol. how did u pay for it? did you do the dishes?

heathersmorin 0

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 3:00

That ATM card is also a debit card! :-0 Amazing I know! He probably just didn't want to pay with his card.

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 10:09

Some places may not take debit.

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:15

Wow that really sucks!

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 4:21

that's a creepy pic lol

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 4:23

creeeeeeeepy

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 6:36

we got it the first time

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 7:48

reminds me of brain peppers

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Monday 14 March 2011 2:10

lol

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:23

I don't know how much that is in dollars since I live in the US but you girl, are either a very distracted person or just a moron. I mean who does that? forget their money at an ATM? and that sucks that you didn't realize it till you were about to pay. you made someone very happy today.

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 2:57

What does the op being a girl have to do with anything?

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 3:22

It doesn't. It appears as though 11 was using it as a pet name. Replace "girl" with other pet names (e.g. "honey," "dummy," etc.) and it has the same meaning.

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 4:19

thank you 40 : )

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 5:21

Ahh! I see!

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:24

We've all done that at some point! Not really an FML, but YDI!

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:25

this is an fml lost like 70$!

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 4:26

here's an FML I lost my heart to ur muscles lol jk

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 5:57

most women share this FML :)

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 7:54

It's quite funny how all you people drool over those "males" with pictures of muscular men. This is the internet. How do you know if that's actually the same person commenting as in the picture, or if it's some 63 year old guy (or girl - who knows?) who pleasures himself (or again - herself) to your comments?

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 8:19

hahahah you got a point there!xP^^ kind of freeaaky actually..

butterflychic 0

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 18:51

someone's kinda full of it...(;

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Tuesday 8 March 2011 19:07

haha nah it's me I'm 17! and I workout religiously so I ended up with this terrible bod! I like me but I'm not full of myself I jus thought it would make a funny comment!