Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my wife's parents came over, insisting they saw me at the bar at 1:30 p.m., talked to me, and that I left with another woman. I was at work all day. I have no idea what they are talking about, I've never done this. My wife doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML
Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML
Today, I called out of work, making an elaborate claim my wife was sick, and that I HAD to stay home to take care of her, because I have never played hooky from work before. That afternoon, at a minor league hockey game as I'm buying a hotdog with my wife, my boss from behind me asked, "How's the fam?" FML
Today, I ignored my wife's phone calls at work, since all she ever wants to do is complain or talk about chores and projects. An hour later, security called my desk. She'd shown up at work to bitch me out for ignoring her. Now I'm the laughing stock of my workplace. FML
Today, I went on the road for work for the first time in a very long time. I was enjoying lunch with coworkers when my phone got bombarded with calls and texts. Turns out my wife and my mother had gotten into a fight within two hours of me being away. FML
Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML
Today, I was dumped via text halfway through my 8-hour bar shift. I had to deal with my co-workers and customers asking me how my vacation with my now-ex was for the next 4 hours. FML
Today, my wife lied to me three times, saying she was at work but in reality she was home the whole day. Every time I ask her about it, she says she's not in the mood to talk. And says a lot of "I don't knows…" Almost like she has something to hide. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Ydi for lying
glutgyoogle 6
Fail. You better hope she's a forgiving person otherwise I'd get used to sleeping alone. YDI
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Comments (169)
jgduplante 9
Couples shouldn't have to hide the fact that they are in a bar from each other. Maybe she hadn't been understanding about it in the past and he felt that he had to lie to avoid a fight. Too bad it probably just made things worse in this case..
TheNewGuy03 29
This is pretty much what I was thinking. I don't believe he should have lied, but there had to be some underlying problem that may have given birth to malcontent and/or distrust. Hell, she probably did it on purpose so she could bitch at him anyway. |the ki-- oh shit!
sara_saturday 5
or maybe he's trollin and feels guilty.
sara_saturday 5
but it sounds like the wife set him up
the7thchild 6
FYL and YDI. A. she shouldnt be at the bar and B. dont lie to women (: until you apologize id set up camp on the couch
ddeek 3
Why can't she be at a bar???
Burnbaby 0
76- Because women don't drink. *looks at beer in hand* wait a second...
heyimallison 0
i dont understand why cant she be at a bar.
lidsthesquid 4
-_-'
McMike10 1
Why was she allowed to be there when you weren't?
sunlovinmama 1
She didn't say that did she?
McMike10 1
He implied it when he said he didn't want her to know here she was
oops_im_fucked 8
19 has a point, but OP still lied about not being in the bar.
MeganCello 8
Maybe his friends are slutty girls?
Cazzybum 11
I was thinking the same thing. Why would op not want her to know he was at a bar with friends? Is he not allowed to go out with mates? What kind of marriage is this?
withered 30
#112 Even if his wife had a problem with him going out to bars it doesn't mean she is a controlling bitch. He could go to the bars often, get drunk and then annoy her when he comes home (start arguments, being abusive,...). There are various reasons why people want their partners to limit visiting bars besides being controlling.
CVeNgineer 0
Well if she didn't want you to be there then why does she get to go?
batfan5683 6
You suck.
DarkHelmet 10
Cold Busted!!!! Have fun on the couch tonite playa!
stayawakee 0
Everyone wonders why marriages end. It's because there's stupid ass men in the world, such as yourself.
stoptrying 9
And unfaithful selfish women*
KhronicSmoke 2
And scandalous deceiving ass bitches
Mysanitywins 10
Oh? Like Women are so awesome? No. Both have their ups and downs. Not just one side..
TheNewGuy03 29
^ You all suck.
divadro102 16
And women do no such thing? My uncle left my aunt. He caught her cheating not once but five times.
s10biker 1
There are some stupid ass women in the world too in all fairness
imani132 6
Damn, that's yo ass lol
Skittlez_Cake 4
I pretty sure she dosen't trust you.
MurphyS94 4
And she shouldn't, considering the stupid things OP lies about.
Skittlez_Cake 4
I pretty sure she dosen't trust you.