Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was texting while riding my bike (yes, I know, terrible idea). I crashed right into a lamppost, and, even worse, a woman walking by laughed and asked, "Did you just text yourself into that pole?" I just laid there hoping for the ground to swallow me up. FML
Today, to keep my phone safe while I went on some rides, I took it out of my pocket so I could put it in my bag. Just as I pulled it out, a woman ran into me, knocking my phone to the ground and breaking the screen. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, I was texting while walking up the stairs to my porch. When I looked up, I saw someone standing behind the porch door, and was so scared that I fell backwards down the stairs. Turns out, it was just my reflection. FML
Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants round my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML
Today, I was on a packed bus when my phone rang. I tried to answer, but my wired earbuds got tangled. I tugged too hard, yanking my phone out of my hand. It flew forward, smacked a man in the forehead, then bounced into a stranger’s coffee cup. FML
Today, I was walking down the hallway of my office, texting and not paying attention, when I tripped on… nothing. I just practically face-planted onto the floor, and when I looked up, people chatting in the hallway were staring at me, and asked me if I had tripped over my own foot or if a ghost had pranked me. FML
Today, I was outside at a café when I looked at my phone. As I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
Today, I got annoyed with my mum stopping in her tracks each time she needed to reply to a text message. I tried to show her that you can walk and text at the same time. I ended up falling into a drain. FML
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Top comments
Moy_fml 6
"Today I was in a phonebooth. This guy came in and started groping me and I attacked him with the receiver. He said: "I'm sorry m'am" and walked off. I'm Superman. FML"
f_alltheirlives 3
Boothycall!
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Comments (95)
permanent 0
HOW do you do that/!!
Ohnothingreally 0
I don't understand this. Could someone please explain?
gigi2009 0
this wins raaandomest fml i've ever read!!
Sorrel 0
Confucius say, man who walk and text end up in strange places. Your bad.
i_luv_cheese 0
nice use of the word "clobbered." havent heard that one in awhile. thank you
g00nie 0
They still have phonebooths?
justmyluck1212 0
I would've reacted similar to her
FerrariCake 2
You have actual phone booths where you live? I've seen them in pictures of the way things were in the old days, but I didn't know they still existed. Just to explain the rampant confusion over phone booths... most of them have gone away because everyone has cell phones now. Phone booths are more expensive than cellular service.
FerrariCake 2
Maybe "she" was actually transvestite Superman in the process of changing into his tights and cape. You discovered his secret identity and he had to erase your memory by beating you over the head.
deesquiggs 0
retard