Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML
Today, I got into an elevator with a really hunky guy. We exchanged polite greetings, then, for some reason, I tried to break the silence by saying, "Nice weather today, huh?" He nodded, but then I awkwardly continued, “Too bad we’re stuck in here.” He gave me a confused look as the doors opened right on cue. FML
Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML
Today, I got into an elevator with a stranger. The silence was so awkward that I muttered, “Sometimes I pretend I’m on a reality show.” The stranger just stared at me until the doors opened. We work on the same floor. FML
Today, I got stuck in an elevator with six strangers. To break the awkward silence, I said, "At least none of us have somewhere important to be." One woman immediately started crying because she was on her way to her own wedding ceremony. FML
Today, I got stuck in an elevator with a guy I have a bit of a crush on. Trying to break the awkward silence, I made a joke about our situation, saying, "Well, at least we're not on a desert island." He replied, "Yeah, but I'd still prefer the island; at least then I could escape." FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
Today, I was stuck in an elevator with my workplace crush for 10 minutes. Trying to break the silence, I nervously said, “I’ve always thought you were amazing.” She smiled and whispered, “I thought you were the new maintenance guy.” I work in marketing. FML
Today, I shared an elevator alone with an attractive co-worker. On our way up, she let out a loud, noxious rip. She covered her nose and mouth while giving me an accusing look, as I said with a straight face, "Excuse you." Later, I received a note from HR for harassment. FML
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Top comments
Endymion_fml 0
I would have released a huge sigh of relief, maybe adding a 'thanks goodness', just to make her paranoid.
zidane312 0
man, he didnt have to go that far.... could have least been nice
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Comments (127)
Zic_fml 7
My guess is she doesn't consider you ugly, but she was only saying you don't interest her. In time interval of 2 seconds, you can't really pick diplomatic wording.
TheAntiComment 0
if she was trying to hit on you, I think she would of stopped after telling her friend there was a cute guy in the elevator including the "sorry just kidding" wouldn't have been a continuation of her game
PokeyStix 3
Well if she's awkward, implying he's cute would lay it on too thick. I double bluff all the time about stuff like this, loads of girls do... she probably did like him, as like other's have said that's the first thing that sprung to mind. So frustrating because you found her attractive too, op! That could've been a nice hookup. If only either of you were confident enough.
yeahreally 6
ouch! she didnt have to elaborate.
wrestler_fml 0
You should have laughed and been like "..yeaaahh. with friends that boring, like you'd have a chance!" Then when she got all offended, you could have been like "but its ok babe, its obvious you meant that and just didn't know how else to properly start a conversation with me..." Then just smirk and look her in the eyes and be like "... but for the future, you don't need a clever scheme to pick up a hot guy. just start talking to him. we have dicks, you know." then slowly smile and laugh and go out the elevator door when it opens, and leave her a mix between outrage, confusion, and desire. hahaha
Misanthropist 0
#26 you read into this waaaay too far..
lollipops321 0
what did 26 say?
melodichard 0
Yeah really. That's just creepy.
Superman8_fml 0
lmao #7!!!!! #26...i might report you...
wallcat 0
what did 26 say? I don't see a comment.
dcapp 0
omg that sucks
neonoodle 0
#26: do you usually have elaborate conversations in your head that always go your way?
80_proof 0
She was probably trying to flirt, but she sucks at it. Horribly. She's probably not worth the time either way. If she sucks at flirting that much, then she isn't worth it. If she actually meant it, then she's a bitch and isn't worth it. Either way you're better off. Don't trip chocolate chip.