Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML
Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML
Today, my boyfriend left me for his sister. No, not my sister. His sister. FML
Today, after meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time, I found out that he, his sister, and their father enjoy talking loudly over the person who is currently talking, because what anyone else says is not worth listening to. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I noticed that my boyfriend's sister looks at my ass more than my boyfriend does. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
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Top comments
woainishamu 21
Mentioning your sister probably got his gear box running.
Crazc 15
bite his dick
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Comments (121)
damn_all 22
What a dick head
Goblin182 27
YDI. Guys could care less about your sister's drama.
Barlucic 5
Maybe like another Recent FML. Op's Boyfriends Dad said "Just jack one out, you'll be better in no time."
vincentcloud 4
The quote is "when in doubt, rub one out"
blueknight1st 26
I don't blame him. Guys don't like gossip and drama. It's all pointless crap and we don't want to hear about it.
squideth 18
Of course! All men care about is their wrinkly dicks, right? Not everyone is a soulless loser like you, dudebro.
1jordan1 11
Good luck ever getting a girlfriend. Girls talk about their feelings and vent, just like guys do. You keep acting like that? Don't ever expect sex.
everett75 4
Funniest thing I have heard in a long time, thanks OP.
A_fork 5
I thought it said brother instead of boyfriend........
Josephace 2
Well that's weird.. Lol
nick3600 22
He jacked it next to Jill lmao
mrhe3t 9
#89. lol... Nice Catch.
brolin_burrito 9
I can feel all his empathy from here.
mzharlot22 8
Why is this a turn on for me?