Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML
Today, a friend was moving away, and they told me go grab their credit card. I did, and she bought me Dunkin' Donuts, then I tripped and dumped both our drinks. Into her face. I tried to say "Fuck!" and "I didn't mean to do that to you!" but ended up yelling "FUCK YOU!" in the middle of a parking lot. I never saw her again. FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with a cute girl when I asked the barista, “Make mine just like hers.” It turns out she'd ordered a decaf soy lavender tea latte. I hate all of those words. FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML
Today, I thought I was being smooth by using a pickup line on a cute barista. I confidently said, "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears." She replied, "Actually, I'm a barista, and everyone else is waiting for their coffee. Next!" FML
Today, I went through the drive-through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response, I started frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, a woman came out to my car and said, "Please pull up to the speaker." I'd been yelling at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML
Today, I learned that just because the cute barista at the train station smiles, waves at me each time I arrive, and develops small talk, probably means she's trying to sell me pastries. The smile she had when I asked for her number, and the way she said, "Nah" still haunts me. FML
Today, I walked into a coffee shop where I always flirt with the cute barista who I think likes me, and confidently told her I'd have "the usual." She just stared at me blankly and said, "I have literally never seen you before in my life." FML
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Today, I locked eyes with a cute barista and tried to flirt by giving a charming smile. I forgot I had just taken a sip of hot chocolate, so I ended up drooling a long stream of chocolate down my chin. FML
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Top comments
yodelqueen13 0
haha mistaken sexual harrassment sucks
arela 0
what the **** who says double D's for dunkin donuts you douche you deserve it
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Comments (323)
whatever234 0
Come on. Obviously this chick had no sense of humor, or is too full of herself to consider the fact that you might not have been referring to her ****, even if you really were just using Dunkin Donuts to compliment her ****. By the way, she probably got an ego boost out of it, since even though they pretend to be offended, girls like hearing that they look good. F HER L
666midnight 0
WHy did you not just say something like 'I see you like Dunkin Donuts coffee too' and the proceed to smile, you were a bit stupid, making a sexual joke isn't the best method to break the ice...YDI
screwed137 0
"Screw all of you twats.... if Dane Cook can call it The BK Lounge, then he can call it Double Ds!!! Funny thought: It would be interesting to see him say this to a man.! " What up, dude? You got Double Ds?" "You know what wakes me up in the morning? Double Ds" "When I'm feeling down, all I need is some Double Ds with glaze!" *Calls Dunkin Donuts marketing execs* Another funny scenario: If she only had a B or C cup, she might've taken it as a compliment." You aren't dane cook dipshit!!! Therefore you cannot pull that off!!! and you weren't doing standup comedy, you were walking around in a real life situation, go to school!!!
jambatwist03 0
I totally see this blowing up into a new abbreviation. And everyone stfu with the fake shit. Yea, call people out on bash.org rippers, but for stuff like this, just chillllll. And post above me--stfu. And please add a couple more exclamation points. Those really added to your point. Immensely, actually. Twat.
screwed137 0
I like how you tell me to chill, when you are ripping on ppl just as much. !
r37s4090Xl7N 0
Who calls Dunkin Donuts Double D's?
BoiGrrl 0
I don't see why everyone is getting so upset about this post. I think it's funny.
00001000100101 0
What a horrible pick up line, YOU DESERVE IT. LOL
wtfreallyin86 0
http://www.whycindywhy.com/?id=87gze7pv8qbbw66jjl2yo5kbl241ea
hislovelylady 0
I honestly thought this was really funny. YDI, yes, but still very funny. And maybe the OP and his friends call it that...so it just sort of came out. Also, #67 is bomb. haha.