Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML
Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML
Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up… out my left nostril. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML
Today, I took a cough drop to soothe my sore throat, only to choke, gag, and spend the next ten minutes at the point of vomiting because the bitter lozenge got stuck in my windpipe. FML
Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right inside my mouth. My tongue got stung. FML
Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML
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Top comments
crazytwinsmom 25
Puff the magic earwig ...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I don't actually know what an earwig is. I keep imagining a tiny mustache/toupee that lives in one's ear. I won't google it because I like thinking that. Don't judge me.
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Comments (86)
Ashie_Cat 4
Who else gagged just reading this? Sorry OP!
Epikouros 32
Great wording, OP. It's nice of you to be concerned about having disturbed the earwig.
BobbieH 19
They have an end cap for a reason! You should use it!!
starlita_fml 15
FYL indeed. I hate those creatures
Scattertom 12
"Earwigs are nocturnal; they often hide in small, moist crevices during the day" - Wikipedia Guess we know why it was in there...
akiahara 14
Mmm. Delicious. Now she's laying little eggs in your stomach that will mutate and pop out your belly.
Xotoolyxo 16
that's horrible, you would never expect a bug to be there. More like in your shoe or lemonade
snowhitee 6
I would've freaked out :((((((
KiddNYC1O 22
You could be a good narrator, op...
Rhian00 17
This happened to my mum once.